• The full silver moon cast an eerie glow over the lake. The calm waters gently rising to the shore then falling back down again. Soft winds rocked the trees back and forth, like a mother would rock her child. My hands were cold, I knew his were too, I wish he would keep me warm like he used to.

    “But Matt I don’t wanna walk home!” I whined. He sighed. “Come on Isabelle, it’s not that long of a walk.” “I know it’s just freezing.” He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his dark brown hair. “Please, just this once Belle. I promise I’ll drive you home every day after this.” I looked down at my worn out, written on tennis shoes, knowing that if I looked up I wouldn’t be able to say no. “Please?” He asked. I looked up and sighed. “Fine let’s go.” He smiled and jumped happily. “Yay!” I laughed and pushed him out of the school doors. It was a few minutes or so of us walking on the sidewalk before I broke the silence. “Hey Matt?” “Yeah Belle.” “I can’t feel my hands anymore.” He grinned and grabbed one of my hands in his. I could feel my face heat up.

    I miss those days, the ones where things were so simple, the days where I didn’t have to worry about leaving Matt, or Matt leaving me.

    We’ve been walking around the lake to the dock. It’s been nearly an hour and we’re only half way there. I wish he would say something. I know if I try, I will mess up the peaceful scene lying out in front of me. I heard a branch snap somewhere behind me and jumped. I put a hand on my chest and laughed at myself for jumping. I wish he would’ve at least smiled. I knew he wouldn’t though. He hasn’t smiled once since it happened. That was such a horrible day.

    I was sitting on my bed just listening to my music, enjoying what little freedom I had left before school started. “Isabelle there’s someone here to see you.” My mother called from downstairs. I got up off my bed and opened my door. “Be down in a sec!” I called back to her. I walked over t my vanity just to check my hair and whatnot. Then I walked out of my room and down the steps into the living room. “Matt what are you…hey what’s wrong?” I asked Matt. His face was pale, his eyes red. He looked as though he had been crying. He just looked at me. I almost cried myself when I saw his eyes. What should have been happiness and excitement was replaced with sorrow and grief. I grabbed his hand and led him up to my room. We both sat on my bed, cross legged and facing each other. We sat there just staring at each other for what seemed like hours, but what were really only a few minutes. “Isabelle.” He whispered. My heart almost broke, he never called me Isabelle. I didn’t say a word; I just sat waiting for what would come next. “My mom.” A single tear ran down his face. “What happened Matt?” He looked down as more tears fell. “Sh-sh-she was in an accident. Belle, she didn’t make it.” He choked. I gasped and scooted over to him. He started to sob and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “It will be okay, Matt. Everything will be okay.”

    But everything was not okay, and he and I both knew it. It’s been a week since the funeral. He hasn’t eaten anything. His frame, which was thin before, is now all skin and bones. His hair a tangled mess and his eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes, no longer carry that sparkle that I fell in love with so many years ago.

    We reached the dock a half an hour later. I could no longer feel my feet. When we actually sat on the dock I laid back and closed my eyes. I felt his presence next to me and I opened my eyes and looked over. I smiled weakly at him and faced the sky again. He breathed in deep and let out a long heavy sigh. “Isabelle, I-I need to tell you something.” I turned my head so I could face him again. “What is it, Sugar?” “My Dad and I are moving. Next week, he wants to get away from the house as fast as possible. He hates that she’s gone.” I closed my eyes desperately trying to keep back my tears, but failing miserably. “Don’t cry,” I told myself “You need to be strong for Matt.” I opened my eyes again to see him staring sorrowfully at me. He picked up his hand and brushed away a few tears. “Please don’t cry Belle, I’ll come back I promise.” I sat up and stared at the water. He followed suit and stared at me silently pleading for a response. “You promise?” I whispered. He grabbed my hand and titled my face with his other hand so that I was staring at him. “I promise you Isabelle that I will come back for you.”

    It’s been a week since that night. Matt leaves in thirty minutes. We’re standing outside his gate at the airport, and I’ve got my arms latched around his waist. I don’t want to let go. He’s been whispering sweet nothings in my ear for the past hour. I don’t think I can take it. I honestly can’t believe it. My best friend of forever, boyfriend of two years is leaving. I wish that time would freeze, so that I can keep this moment forever. “Belle, I have to go now.” He said to me while holding me out an arms length in front of him. I nodded and gave him one final hug. One last tear fell down my face as I whispered my final goodbye. He kissed me softly and just walked of onto his plane. And just like that he was gone.

    He broke his promise and left me here. I never found anyone else. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like had I not met Matt years ago, but then I force those thoughts into the back of my mind.

    It’s better to love and lost, then to have never loved before.