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A small girl with long curly blond hair stared into A small pond, small fish swam. The sweet sent of flower's and the froset drifted throw the warm after-noon air. Large white glowing wing's hung lightly on her back, the sun made every thing sparkle. The wind blew harder and the girl giggled and crouched down picking daisy's.
'Where am I?' I tought to myself looking out across the open feild, flowers and tall grass bloomed and the sky was clear with vary few clouds. Some how this scared me. I wanted to reach out and touch the little girl but I didn't want to ruin the peace. That's when the smoke hit, I turned and the far side of the feild was on fire, I stood stock still with fear and wheeled around to the little girl who hadint noticed the smoke or the deadly feild fire as it grew closer and closer to them. I tryed screaming but my voice was carried away with the wind, I wacthed as the little girl returned to wacthing the fish in the pond, The fire was only minutes away, I reached out and touched her shoulder and made her face me. The girl's high picthed scream of pain and fear rose over the roaring flames, She didn't seem to notice me. Insted she ran into the pond trying to escape the flames as the ate away at her white dress, the flame's licked around my legs, I didn't feel them. I was watching the girl strugle to safty. The fire roared around me now, I fell in. Fading...fading into nothing, the blackness scared me but I was unable to change my mind so I floated for what seemed like for ever.
I woke with A start on A hosptile bed, my head pounded along with my heart, I looked around the room to see A docture messing with some needles. I coughed and he turned with A small. "Ah your a wake" he mussed "Welcome back" he mussed again and read her chart "It seem's you've been in A comma for three years now" he sighed, I was shocked, A comma? what day was it to day! But I couldn't even mange to gurgle, my heart sank. The docture called for A nerse who wheeled A chart into the room. My eye lids where heavy and there wasn't really anything I could do now, I just drifted back to sleep.
There were no more dreams after the one with the blond girl. Some how I knew her but I couldn't really be sure, I couldn't remeaber anything sence I woke up, the docter come's every so offten to cheeck on me. I uslly stare out the window un fazed by the same scen. Soon I could mange to move my fingure's and toe's. My right eye didn't seem to work so well. But when it was dark I could see the full room clearly. I yarned to know who I was and what I was doing here in A hosptile and why I was in A comma. I was determed to find out soon.
- by ninjadog34 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/24/2008 |
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- Title: "Where is your god now?"
- Artist: ninjadog34
- Description: This story is one I tought up about A week or so ago when I started getting into WW2. This would be the first page or some where in the second chapter in the book. :D Please enjoy tell me what you think I love to hear what needs to be changed :D
- Date: 12/24/2008
- Tags: worldwartwo germany hosptile acomma
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Comments (5 Comments)
- -St3qHaNi3- - 03/23/2009
- a very talented writer 5/5.very descriptive biggrin .
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- Fayne Darkness - 02/05/2009
- I like the plot but the spelling made it hard to understand. please try to correct them or make them have more sense. good job though, 3/5
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- vhian - 01/06/2009
- well.. nice.. but some of the sentences. i didnt understand
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- PuNkRoCkPrInCeSs30 - 12/24/2008
- Nothing needs to be changes just common grammer mistakes.. i will send you some helpful tips..good story line cant wait to hear what happens next
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- ninjadog34 - 12/24/2008
- Please comment
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