The Night She Died

• Artist: Riruka-Rukia
• Description: A short story. Breif moments. Orihime watched Ichigo as he kissed Rukia. Take in this heartbreaking tale as her last breath chills everyone.
• Date: 01/15/2009
• Tags: night died

She was as ice, her skin grew chilled as she saw the horrific scene. Just as she was about to tell him goodbye forever, she saw them kiss.
Orihime's eyes widened with tears. She had not expected Ichigo to kiss Rukia at the last moment of their last time together.
Raizen had took her life and just as he did, the heart that she once had grew black with hate and jealousy. At first it was envy, then it became pure hatred.
Before he could see her, she walked into oblivion forever with tears, suddnly redden by blood.
Soon, she thought, soon she would come back as their enemy. Rukia's heart soon feelt guilt. Ichigo also knew they had sensed her, her bitter and last moment standing with eyes of pure hate.

Comments

[Nerai Kentouken]

O-o She died? Irellevan! Its very descriptive...but try and separate it into paragraphs and indent (err...wrll, when it exceeds 1 paragraph XD) You might like my entry, Take a look at it. Plz comment and vote!

[Riruka-Rukia]

sorry. this is a really short story giving a brief moment of Orihime's grief before she takes a leap of faith into darkness. sorry about being confusing. I should give a better description.

[MoonFilledTears]

It's not bad, but it needs to have more of an emotional connection with the characters... Is this the first chapter? If so, it feels like you are starting in the middle of a story, so it's a little confusing...