life of a young boy in pain

• Artist: Yami Yufakai
• Description: i thought i woul write a short story ^^............ its realilistic fiction
• Date: 01/21/2009
• Tags: life young pain

The boy looks out the window, the rain falling down beating on the glass. Much like his heart falling out of his chest and the blood dripping on the floor, beating and pounding makeing a stain to show the boys hate, love, pain and coming together to form his regret. It all flows into a liguid falling in and over his thoughts, letting his mind feel his guilt. All the lives he took, the loves he pushed away, and the sweet embrace of a caring freinds warm hug wasted on his cold heart. He stabs and kills trying to picture his cold black soul. Now letting his life slip away from cutting out his heart. The last life he took was his own, only to find the pain didnt fade away.

Comments

[kage kokoro 10]

Dang its been so long since i lost this account XD, my "yami yufakai" area was a good one

[Little Milkflower]

This was a good entry. Partly poetic. It takes a true writer to write something like this.
Don't listen to the moron below my comment. He has no right to judge other people's writing.
Mister TT (Tenacious Thomas) nothing has to be realistic. As long as you enjoyed what you wrote, and meant it then there's nothing wrong with it.

[Tenacious Thomas]

ok, im sorry but i have problems with this entry.
Unrealistic: A human cannot cut his heart out long enough to be emo about it.
I do not have problems with the errors, everyone makes mistakes, but it is not written well, it has potential, great potential, and the last problem is, it is going to be claimed amazing and they are going to tell you things that aren't true because it is dark and emoish, it is in need of great revision.