one of my bloody hearts

• Artist: EdEddnEddy
• Description: dont judge me
• Date: 01/24/2009
• Tags: bloody hearts

On my way home from a walk to go and see a movie. I had seen a girl walking away from a man near a car. She looked spaced out so I went to go and see what was wrong. As I called out for the girl she just walked away but as she did i notice the bloody knife in her hand. So now I ran oven to the man but as I reached the car I saw him hit the ground with a sad expression.
I held the man in front of me as I saw the flashing red lights in the distance. The man reached forward and with his bloody hand he touched my face an told me "you need to stop her".....

Comments

[Nycholas Flamel]

In all honesty, your writting is ok. You need to develop more sensory details. A little more length would be nice as well. I've read your other story and I've noticed that you have a tendency to leave the story open-ended, I would work to fix that. 3/5 holistic.

[an_t_social8]

...I didn't really enjoy it at all...Overused plotline, poor punctuation, and a third-grader's vocabulary. 1/5

[missladyzoe]

Wow... I'm not really a fan of this kind of fiction but that was amazing! I'm hooked... You have to finish this or send me the rest because now it's going to bug me until I know the end! I give you a five! Wow.