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Chapter 2
After the car wash Melly made me go out for pizza. Everyone that I knew was there . It was horrible I wanted to be alone but the were all to happy to have me there. I have no idea why they want me there if try so hard for them to dislike me.
It’s like the more I want them to leave me alone the more they
talk to me .Why can’t they just leave me alone ? I excused myself to the restroom to get some time alone,but on the way there a tall olive skined boy stoped me." Do you want to know where Angel is?" he asked. I looked at him to see if it was a joke . His face was completely seirous,and he was a good person I could tell." Where?" I asked him a little to eagerly . "Shh please be a little quiter.Can we go to a more privet place?" he asked me. I glanced at the table Melly was still waiting for me. "I’ll be right back." I told him and walked over to Melly’s table. "I’m going to go to hang out with my friend," I told her,but she wasn’t looking at me she was looking behind me . I look to he was standing right behind me . "Didn’t I tell u to what for me there?"I hissed at him." No you told me that you would be right back," he replied with a smile.I couldn’t help but smile back." See that’s the smile I’ve been looking for," Melly almost screamed at me. I looked at her confused. "It’s like the first genuine smile I’ve seen on your face in a long time ,"she told me havingcaught the confused look ."And aren’t going to interduce me to your friend"U
m was all I could say I looked behind me at him. "I’m Andrew,"he told her. They shook hands."So can I borrow Gabby for a while?"
I looked at him confused I didn’t remember telling him my name. Outside he mouthed . I nodded. "Sure,"she said with a smile that told me she completely misread the situation. He grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the door I turned around and waved good bye to Melly.
- by Adriana Pineda |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/28/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: unknown
- Artist: Adriana Pineda
- Description: sorry i took so long to post this
- Date: 01/28/2009
- Tags: unnown
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Not_Goth_Just_Me - 04/02/2009
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story is good so far
but like the guy so rudely did was
puntuation is big in stories
they point out certain things
its a work in progress
also please work on your wording of sentences
i got a bit lost sometimes lol - Report As Spam
- matterinhand - 01/29/2009
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You're probably going to hate me, but I've taken the liberty of editing your story.
Very little has changed, one amalgam of two sentances, a couple of spellings (and I still missed 'introduce'), but it was mainly a case of breaking up that long paragraph.
This could be a really interesting story, please carry on with it.
Unfortunatly I can't put the story into its original order so you need to read my comments in reverse order. - Report As Spam
- matterinhand - 01/29/2009
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"Sure" she said, with a smile that told me she completely misread the situation.
He grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the door. I turned around and waved good bye to Melly.
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- matterinhand - 01/29/2009
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I looked at her confused.
"It’s like the first genuine smile I’ve seen on your face in a long time" she told me, having caught the confused look.
"And aren’t going to interduce me to your friend?"
"Umm..." was all I could say.
I looked behind me at him.
"I’m Andrew" he told her as they shook hands. "So can I borrow Gabby for a while?". I looked at him confused. I didn’t remember telling him my name.
"Outside" he mouthed. I nodded.
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- matterinhand - 01/29/2009
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"I’ll be right back" I told him and walked over to Melly’s table.
"I’m going to go to hang out with my friend" I told her,but she wasn’t looking at me, she was looking behind me .
I looked too, he was standing right behind me.
"Didn’t I tell you to wait for me there?" I asked him.
"No, you told me that you would be right back" he replied with a smile. I couldn’t help but smile back.
"See that’s the smile I’ve been looking for" Melly almost screamed at me.
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- matterinhand - 01/29/2009
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I excused myself to the restroom to get some time alone,but on the way there a tall olive skined boy stoped me.
"Do you want to know where Angel is?" he asked.
I looked at him to see if it was a joke. His face was completely serious,and he was a good person I could tell.
"Where?" I asked him a little too eagerly.
"Shh, please be a little quieter. Can we go to a more private place?" he asked me.
I glanced at the table, Melly was still waiting for me.
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- matterinhand - 01/29/2009
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After the car wash Melly made me go out for pizza.
Everyone that I knew was there . It was horrible.
I wanted to be alone but they were all so happy to have me there.
I have no idea why they want me there if try so hard for them to dislike me. (sorry I don't understand this line, M).
It’s like the more I want them to leave me alone the more they talk to me .Why can’t they just leave me alone?
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