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She ran as fast as she could past trees she knew that she had seen before.
As she ran, she heard the crashing of trees and bushes behind her. For she was not alone in this forest. She had come in contact with a full-grown Serpent Demon that could caught her at any moment.
All of the problems started when she drank the water from the lake in the woods. Sure, her parents told her not to drink it but she had no choice. She had gotten lost and had no food or water. As soon as she drank the water, she saw people, lost or dead people staring at her. They wore torn clothing and had scars all over their faces and they only say "run".
She looked behind her and saw the serpent, smiling at her. The serpent bent down and started to coil her. She, Reyna, jumped out and started to run, hearing the voices shouting for her to run. "I'm already running god damn it!" she screamed at the people. She than noticed that most of those people were kids, wait not just kids, girls her age! She ran faster only to hit the serpent head-on.
The serpent smiled and spoke, "So you are my next meal, lovely." He grabbed her legs and started to drag her to who knows where.
- by xXxFrancais_VioletxXx |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/17/2009 |
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- Title: The Forest of the Lost
- Artist: xXxFrancais_VioletxXx
- Description: IDK i wrote this during math class. Ill finish it later. Plz vote and comment! :3
- Date: 02/17/2009
- Tags: forest lost
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Lightly_Amorous - 06/26/2009
- Pretty good. Work on grammar and sentence structure. For example: When you say "...bushes behind her. For..." if should really be "...bushes behind her, for...". Also, I'd work on your last sentence.
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- Harry Owen - 05/04/2009
- no offense but this isnt very good. theres too much desciption and u say water too many times in paragraph 3. 2/5 neutral
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- Gravetye - 02/18/2009
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Watch for run on sentences and repetitiveness. But I like the sort of creepy image of the dead all telling her to run. In fact, I find them more frightening than the snake, haha.
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