• To this day I am stil alone. Living alone, being alone, it isn't what I want. I want someone here with me. someone to love me and soothe me. Yet, I have not found him yet. Maybe a girl with the name Malissa Benning should not be with anyone. I mean Benning? What kind of name is that? And my name is spelled wrong as well. I can not help it. It was my mother's choice. A father was not present and has not been present in my life for the past seventeen years. What happened? What happened to my parents? Did they stop loving each other or did soemthing else happen? I had asked my mom before, she said he found soemone else. I guess that means he stopped loving her. I deffenetly know mom does not love him anymore. She has a new husband named Gerald Cunningham. He's a nice man. I love him to death. There is not better man than him. Nacy and Gerald Cunningham. A nice couple name. Now I wonder which name will complete with mine.

    I live in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Summer vacation is here and you know what? It stinks. Going to beach all the time? It is so boring. I would go to other places, like nice quiet romantic places, if I had a boyfriend. my friends Ami and Victoria always go on vacation. My friend Becky lives too far away. Kamran and Ashlie always want to go to the beach and no where else. I mention places but they say they rather just stay on the beach. Semetimes I leave them and go on my own. It actually is more better when I go alone, but then it gets boring and I head back. I can not be bored for too long. So I just head back to the beach or my condo and chill. Like maybe a few guys talk to me, but just for a little while. Then they just head off. I do not know why. I always think:"Did I do soemthing wrong?" "Is my baithing suit to showable?" I do not know. All I know I must be unexciting in some way. I wish I knew what it was so that I could change it. So that I could fix it. Once I find it out, I am so going to change it.

    Outside in Myrtle beach again. Uhg, when is something exciting going to happen? When I turn old and baggy? Oh yippe. What grandpa would want me? I know, I know, complain complain complain. That is all I do? Well you know what? I like to complain.
    I see Ashlie running over to me in her pink bikini and her long blond hair up in a ponytail. "Come on Melissa, get in the water, Kamran is being a butt again. She's about to make me punch her guts out" she warns.
    I said Ashlie and Kamran are my friends. Does not mean they are.
    "Fine, fine, I'll be the little peace maker okay?" I finally give in and get my pathetic little behind off the dog towel and into the water.
    "Aw, did you have to tattle tail?" Kamran snickers.
    "Shush Kam, it is no use" I instruct her.
    She shrugs and gets back to jumping the waves.
    The main reason why we do not go anywhere is because these two can not decide on where to go. If one says Taco Bell, the oher says Pizza Hut. So at the end they just decide to stay here. I am the only reason why they are here with each other right now. I beg them to come. Ashlie 'took' Kamran's boyfriend, so that is why Kamran does not like her and since she does not like Ashlie, Ashlie does not like her. Total Drama Island comes on the air everytime these two see each other. I do not want to be a mean friend and just choose one to hang out with for that day. I will feel so guilty. Luckaly Ashlie and Jimmy, Kamran's exboyfriend, are still going out so Ashlie goes and hangs out with him. Then Kamran and I go off somewhere together. However, since Jimmy is in college now, he only gets to see Ash like two times a week and so Ash hangs with me and Kamran. So there is drama like all the time and boring old beach too. I wish, like I mentioned before, soemthing exciting would happen.

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