• 7. Over
    “Jessica? What are you doing here?” I asked.
    “I’m here to talk to you.”
    “About…?”
    "Josh."
    "Oh. What about Josh?"
    "You really like him, don't you?" she asked as she started walking out the back door of the school.
    "Uh. Yeah, I do. Hey, I'm actually supposed to be in class..."
    "I told your teacher you were going home early. So you have the whole period off."
    "Really? Thanks, Jess."
    "It's Jessica." she said coldly.
    "Sorry." I mumbled, then we walked into the forest behind the school.
    "It's whatever. But listen, he really likes you, you know."
    "He tells me." I said with a brilliant smile.
    "He thinks great things. Most about you, and the future. The future he sees involves you every time. He's in love with you, Abby. Very truly, in love with you."
    I blushed. Why was she telling me this when I already know?
    "Abby, has Josh ever told you how I became a vampire?" She asked.
    He never did, we really didn't talk of Jessica much. Besides the fact that she looks mean.
    She laughed a dark laugh. "Yes, I can tend to be a little frightening at times, but I have my reasons. Would you like to hear my story, Abby?"
    "S-sure." I stuttered.
    "I'm warning you, it isn't very happy," she sighed and stopped so that we could sit on a dry log. Then she began, "I was born in 1910. My name was Jessica Marie Hart. My parents were Mandy and Louis Hart. My father owned a very successful bank and me and my mother were swarmed with glorious things. I had everything my friends wanted, money, beauty, and the best boyfriend ever. I had the perfect life as Jessica Hart.
    "On my eighteenth birthday in 1928, my father bought me a very expensive car. Me and my boyfriend were going out that night to a party that my best friend was holding in my honor, of course," she smiled at that thought, "I asked my mother and father if I could drive to this party in my new car and they said yes, but as long as I didn't get drunk and drive home. I was bummed. That was my plan for the night, to get drunk and have a great time with the people that I loved.
    "I promised my parents that I wouldn't drink. But I lied. I was going to have Marshal, my boyfriend, drive me home. When we arrived at the party, we were swarmed with people trying to chat with me. The party was a huge success, I had tons of fun and so did everyone else. Prior to this party a few weeks before, I found out that I was pregnant. I was so happy that I was going to have a family of my own with the person I truly loved.
    "I drank and had fun anyways, even though I knew that it was going to put my baby at risk. We were to announce that night that I was with child, but I can't remeber if I ever did. I told Marshal not to drink that night so that we could return home safely. He didn't listen to me. I was to out of it to even notice that he was totally wasted. We got in the car and drove off without anyone noticing," she was staring at the ground, to into her story to really notice that I was staring at her with concern.
    "He drove so fast," she started to whisper, "there was no way of stopping him. I yelled at him to slow down... but he just kept telling me to live a little, saying that he was trying to have the time of his life with his one true love," she stopped to look me strait in the eye, her deep green eyes were filled with pain, "he died that night, Abby. He proposed to me in front of all those people," she breathed, "My fiancé died that night... because we were drunk driving! I was in critical condition for hours. I lost my baby," she croaked, "I lost my baby..." she continued to whisper.
    "I couldn't live any longer. I just wanted to die. My whole life was lost. Gone, in that crash. I tried everything. I tried to make myself stop breathing, I tried to fall out of my bed, I cut myself for about a month. When I was finally released from the hospital, I went back home to live with my mother and father again. I was so depressed, I had to freaking take pills!" she shrieked, "You don't know how horrible I felt. My parents were officially ashamed of me. One night they finally thought it was okay to leave me home by myself, so they went out. I found the hidden alcohol, grabbed all the pills they had in our medicine cabinet, and tried to overdose."
    "What do you mean by 'tried to overdose'?" I whispered.
    "I passed out on the ground, half dead and half alive. My parents found me and rushed me to the hospital. There was no hope left for me, so they said their last goodbyes and then left me to die. But, little did they know… Carlos was my doctor. He bit me. I lived."
    "I'm so sorry." I whispered. She turned to me and smiled.
    "Sometimes bad endings have their ups. Yeah, Carlos saved me and I was furious. I wanted to kill him, actually. But I didn't because he had someone for me... He had Josh for me." She breathed. I couldn't speak. He never told me this; they used to be in love?
    "Not just in love, Abby. We were all about each other. I mean sure, Marshal was my first and only true love, but Josh was something way, way different. We were supposed to get married, you know," she said looking off into the distance. Why was she telling me this? Why was she trying to hurt me? "Abby, I want you to know that you’re not the only one that Josh has ever loved," she said looking me strait in the face. "He loved me."
    "W-what happened?" I asked, not wanting to know.
    "We were just a few weeks away from our dream wedding, and thats when Carlos stumbled across Daniel Martian while working night shifts at the local hospital. Daniel was dying and Carlos thought he could really help him. So he turned him. When Daniel and I met, we were inseparable. No one could get me away from him, not even Josh. I fell out of love with Josh and in love with Daniel. 12 years we were together, me and Josh. He was so hurt that he moved away from our family for almost 30 years. He came back in 1970 and by then, of course, me and Daniel were already married and deeply in love. After that, I promised Josh that I would never hurt him again. Ever," she paused, "I also promised him that if someone was to hurt him, I would hurt them. So, Abby... What’s with Terrance?"
    She broke my silence with that question, "Terrance? What about him?"
    "You seem to like him. Is this true?"
    "No."
    "Don't lie to me, Abby."
    "I'm telling the truth."
    "I can read your mind, so if you're lying to me, I will know."
    "I'm not lying!" I began to raise my voice. Why was she doing this?
    "What is going on?" I heard Josh's voice coming towards us.
    "Nothing. We're just talking." I told him, still looking at Jessica. He saw through my lie, of course.
    "Jess, just let it go. She didn't do anything to you." Josh said.
    "But she hurt you, and you know she did. I'm just doing something that you won't." She snapped, getting up from the log to look at both of us strait.
    "And what’s that? Trying to scare her to death?"
    "No! You know that's not what I'm doing. I'm just doing what’s right. I'm keeping my promise."
    "Would you two just shut up?" I yelled, hopping off the log like Jessica.
    "What?" they said at the same time, facing me.
    "If you want me to say it, then fine. I'll yell it out to the world. I LIKE TERRANCE McALLISTER!" I shouted. But I will never love Terrance like I love Josh, I thought. I began to run to my car, hoping no one was following me.
    "Abby, wait." Josh said, having no trouble catching up to me.
    "What, Josh? What do you want?" I stopped to look in right in the eyes.
    "I know you just said that so she would stop pushing you. I know what you said was a lie."
    "And what if it wasn't? Huh? What if I really do like Terrance? What if I was in love with him? What would you do? What would she do?" I asked, pointing in Jessica's direction.
    He stood in silence for a while, stunned at what I said. "Abby..."
    "Just drop it Josh, can’t you see I would like to be left alone at the moment? Maybe we should just end this relationship right now. Apparently I'm not good enough for you. Would you want me to risk my life?"
    "What are you doing, Abby?"
    "I don't know. I'll let you know when I find out. But for now, goodbye Josh Beckett."
    I left him standing there, shocked as I sped down the road fighting back tears. What the hell did it just do? I asked myself.















    8. Safety Fireworks
    My mom pounded on my door, "Honey! Are you okay?" she asked.
    "Go away!" I sobbed.
    "You've been like this for hours! You need to come out sooner or later! Come on, can you just talk to me?" she pleaded.
    "Just leave me alone!" I screamed. She didn't answer, "Josh, I'm so, so, so sorry." I whispered in between sobs. How could I do this to myself? I had to apologize to him... get him back... even if that did risk my life.
    I wondered how he felt now. Did he still love me? Did he hate me? What was Jessica going to do? He was probably in so much pain... I was going to die... I shook my head, trying to clear it. No, I thought, she would never kill me... Josh would never allow it... he couldn't possibly hate me that much, could he?
    A few hours later I slumped down stairs to find something for my empty stomach. That’s when I saw someone waiting for me... "Mom?"
    "I waited." she responded.
    "But... Why?"
    "I wanted to tell you something... But you've already stopped crying, so I don't think now is the best time."
    "Just tell me."
    "Are you sure? Honey, you look tired. Maybe you should go to bed."
    "Mom, I'm fine. Just spit it out already."
    "Abby... I was worried."
    "Mom... W-what did you do?"
    "Well, I knew why you were crying. So I called him, and when he didn't answer... I went to investigate. Abby... Abby, they're gone." she whispered.
    "They're... they're what?" I breathed.
    "Everything. The house looked so dead I didn't even bother to look inside... Abby, they left." she had pity in her eyes. She was sorry for me.
    Suddenly I couldn't breathe, then everything when black. My life was lost... gone, forever.
    * * * * *
    Sometimes I wonder whether life has its cruel moments for a reason, or just to give someone heartache. I certainly go with heartache on this one, because no matter what, my life is lost in the wind of his latest passage, they packed me away like one of their useless things, only they accidently left me behind...
    * * * * *
    I don't know whether it's been days, weeks, months, or even years, but time doesn't seem to matter anymore. My reason for living left me because I told him to… But what can I do? I want him back. But I can't have him.
    "Abby!" Damien yelled, running up to me and gathering me into a great big bear hug, "Can you believe it? School is over!" he shouted over all the commotion.
    "It... it is?" I said, looking down at the diploma in my hands.
    "Duh, silly head! We just passed through graduation! I can't believe it’s over." he sighed, looking over our senior class in the small gym. Everyone was shouting and taking pictures with their families.
    "Oh. Yeah, sorry. I just spaced." I mumbled.
    "Are you okay? Come on! You have to be happy!" he smiled big, "Well I'll see you soon, okay? Remember! You promised to hang out with me over summer. We should go to a movie tomorrow!" he shouted, to enthusiastic.
    "Uh. Okay, sure." I stumbled over my words, I didn't know what I was saying these days anyways, so why did it matter?
    "Bye! I love you!" he shouted, picking me up again and then placing me back down to give me a dramatic kiss on the lips.
    When he let go of me, I was frozen solid. He had a big grin on his face; "It was worth a try, right?" he chuckled, and then ran off to his parents.

    I went to bed early, again, "Night, mom."
    "Abby. Come here."
    "Mom, I'm tired. I had a long day today. Can't I just go to bed?"
    "No!" she shouted, "Abigail, it is your graduation night. You should be going out with your friends! Come on, what does being 18 even mean to you?"
    "Being mature and going to be early." I said, turning around to walk up the stairs.
    "No. You are going out tonight, weather you want to or not."
    "Fine!" I said, throwing my hands up in defeat, "I'll call Damien and see what him and his friends are doing, okay?"
    "Thank you." she said sitting back down on the couch. I absolutely hated that couch, he sat on it.
    "And please," she continued in a whisper, "for everyone's sake, please don't think about him tonight? Okay? Tonight is just about you and your friends."
    "Okay."
    "Abby, you should trying dating again... Damien is a really nice boy, you know."
    "No. Mom, please, please. I'll date when I'm ready, okay? But for now, can we just drop it?"
    "Okay, now go upstairs and get ready. Oh! Don't forget to call Damien."
    I sighed and walked upstairs. I grabbed my cell phone and typed in "Dayyymeeennn" into my phonebook, then pressed send. It rang three times before someone picked up.
    "Abbilicous?"
    "Hey. What are you doing to night, hun?"
    "I was going to go to a graduation party, but I'm game for whatever you want to do, baby." he said casually. We weren't a couple, but we still called each other names.
    "A party sounds cool, I'm down. Who's hosting?"
    He was silent for a moment, and then whispered, "Terrance."
    "Oh."
    "We don't have to go if you don't want to." he said quickly.
    "No, it's okay. I'll go. Pick me up in 20?"
    "Sure thing, bye babe. I love you."
    "Bye, hun" I said, and then hung up. I've never told any other boy 'I love you', even though they say it to me. Damien understands though, that’s why he doesn't get all mad about me not saying it back. I rummaged through my closet for something decent to wear, that’s when I started to wonder... should I dress up?
    I texted Damien to make sure.
    'Love, Do I need to dress up?' I asked, then I dropped my phone to look at clothes again. A few moments later I heard my ringtone, 'I can hear your heart, crying out for me' I picked up my phone to check the message.
    'Yes ma'am,' It said, 'Wear black and white with me, kay?'
    I replied with, 'Is a cocktail dress okay?' then pressed send.
    He responded just moments later with, 'Anything you wear will make you hot. So yes, go with the dress. Bye, baby. I love you.'
    I set down my phone, and then grabbed the black and white cocktail dress my mom bought for me just a few days ago. I curled my hair, put on my heals ─which I hate by the way─ and then was ready by the time Damien showed up.
    "Bye, mom." I said, as I strolled out the front door.
    "Have fun, honey. And don't forget what I said, okay?"
    "Gotcha."
    "Wow." was all Damien could say.
    "Thank you." I said with a smile, I haven't smiled in a while.
    "You look so beautiful." he breathed.
    "You to, Mr. Man." I giggled, I haven't laughed in a while either.
    "Here you go," he said as he opened my door and closed it for me.
    "Thank you, Damien. For everything." I said when he got back in the car.
    "I was nothing, but you’re welcome." he said, leaning over to kiss me slowly on the lips. This was different than before, when me and him used to kiss, it was like an electric current. But when Damien kissed me, I was just like safety fireworks. When he pulled back, he grabbed my hand and we drove to the party.
    We arrived hand in hand, I knew this made people wonder. But, I let Damien do all the talking.
    "Dude!" Joey, one of Damien's friends, called, "Nice to see you brought a date! Hey, Abby. You look... wow." he laughed.
    "Thanks Joey, I get that a lot." I said looking at Damien with a smile.
    "So are you two a 'thing' now?" he asked, using quotation marks with his fingers around the word thing.
    I looked at Damien who said, "I guess you can say that." he said casually, looking at our hands.
    "That’s hot. Well I'll see you two love birds later! I'm going to talk to Jasmine," he said with a grin, then he whispered, "I hear she’s got the hots for me!" we all laughed as he left.
    "I'm going to go get something to drink. Kay, baby?"
    "Uh. Okay. I'll wait here." I mumbled when he let go. I stood there looking really lonely, and someone noticed.
    "Wow, I haven't seen this body since the day she and Josh broke up." a voice said from behind me. My body ached when I heard his name, but I turned to see who was talking to me anyways. It was Terrance.
    "Hi, Terrance."
    "Oh, come on. Lighten up, baby. You’re at a party! And I accept."
    "Accept what?"
    "Well, you were bound to ask if I would dance with you, right? Well, Come on sweet pea, let’s dance."
    I hesitated. "Uh, actually I'm her-"
    "Shhhh. It's just one dance, it won't hurt anyone."
    "Actually," Damien said from behind me, "This is my girlfriend, which means she's my date, which means she is going to dance with me."
    "Lighten up, Damien. It's just a dance."
    "Listen, if you two keep this up, I won't dance with either of you." I snapped, they were dumbstruck by that comment.
    "Well," Terrance said, turning to Damien, "Since she is your date, I might as well dance with her first." Terrance grabbed my hand and twirled me onto the dance floor just the first beats of 'Superhuman' by Chris Brown came on. Terrance, the gentle man, bowed and gestured for my hand. I giggled, curtsied, and then took his palm in mine. We started swaying with the beat as he pulled me closer to him, a little too close.
    He whispered in my ear, "So, are you two seriously together?
    "I have no idea. I guess... I mean it has been awhile, hasn't it?"
    "Since you and Josh broke up?" he asked, I flinched, "It’s been almost nine months, sweetie." Nine months? What?
    "Nine months? Really? Has it been that long?" I whispered back fiercely. He was just about to answer me, when Damien cut in as 'Goodbye to You' from Michelle Branch started to play.
    "Abby." Damien breathed in my ear. I just smiled at his reassuring voice. There was no one I wanted to be with right now more than him, but Damien was a good enough substitute. I looked him in the eye and saw a little sparkle of hope for us. What the hell? I thought to myself, it’s worth a try, right...? Then I planted a big fat kiss on his perfect, warm lips. This wasn't the electric current I was hoping for, but I could probably deal with the minor fireworks.









    9. This Seems Pretty Fair
    It was a very unusual nice, sunny, and hot day outside, so I dressed in a blue bikini top with a brown tube top over it, short blue jean shorts, and brown and blue flip flops. I scrunched my hair so I looked wet, but it wasn't. Damien wanted to go to the to beach and the fair today.
    Were walking down the street, headed to the county fair, when we heard someone shout, "Ooooh!" Jessie, Damien's best friend ─now─, yelled from behind us, "What do we have here?" he joked with thick sarcasm jogging towards us.
    "Shut up." Damien muttered. Blushing and looking down at our hands combined, I giggled.
    "When did this happen?" he asked, putting his hands on our shoulders.
    "Grad party. You know the one you never showed up to!" Damien said, smacking Jessie in the back of the head with his free hand.
    "Sorry, man. I had a date." he said with a smirk.
    "Oh, really? And you don't think it was a great idea to tell me!" he raised his voice, I wasn't scared though, I knew he was just kidding.
    "It was with Sarah McAllister." he sighed with pleasure, throwing his hands up and leaning back looking up at the sky. He shouted this, clear and sincere, “Damien, I think I'm in love." he couldn't stop smiling.
    "Terrance's little sis?" I winced at the name when he said it, "I'm so happy for you, dude. But... isn't she older than you?" Damien asked.
    Jessie looked up and smiled, "That's the beauty of it, man. We're so in love, age is just a number!"
    "Well, that's great. I'm happy for you. We're happy for you." Damien said, looking to me with a smile. I nodded with a little grin.
    We reached the fair within minutes, Damien paid for our entry fee and our tickets. Jessie sat in the front waiting for Sarah, they had another date. We waited with him so he wouldn't be lonely. After a while of sitting there, I had to go to the bathroom.
    "Uh. I'll be right back, okay? I'm going to go to the bathroom. Wait for me." I said, and then hurried off.
    I scrambled around looking for the nearest bathroom, and didn't find one.
    "Uh. Excuse me." I said to the back of someone who I thought worked here, "Do you happen to know where a bathroom is?" I asked. I inhaled and his sent was extraordinary, his hair was an elegant light brown, and cropped short so it hung just a little below the ears. He turned and I gasped. I couldn't believe my eyes. "J-Josh..." I whispered so low that it was barely audible.
    "Hello, Abby." he said clearly. So he was real. This was not my imagination. Tears started streaming down my face, I jumped, wrapped my arms around his neck, and without thinking, I kissed him so fiercely that it hurt. He tried to get release my grip from the back of his head, but I wouldn't budge.
    When he finally used all of his strength, I released my lips from him forcefully and blushed. I searched my mind for something to say. "So, what are you doing here? I thought you left. Are you back for good? Are you just visiting? Are you here with a...a date?" all the questions came out in a rush, but I stopped with the last one, that one I didn't want to be answered.
    He hesitated, but answered my crazy questions anyways starting with the last one, "I do not have a date. I'm sorry but I'm just visiting. And the reason I'm here is because...." he didn't finished.
    "Because..." I prompted.
    "Because.... Because, Abby, I wanted to see you." he whispered.
    "Oh." was the best I had. I searched my mind again, looking for the one question I wanted to be answered before he left me... again. I shuddered at that thought, and then asked, "Josh... W-why did you leave me?"
    He looked puzzled for a moment, and then said, "Because, Abby, you told me to." What?
    I placed my hands on my hips and said, full of sarcasm, "I do not recall."
    He sighed and looked away. "Abby, I didn't intend on speaking to you today. I was trying to hide from you so that Damien wouldn't get irritated with me if we spoke. So when you left him I thought that this would be the best time to see you. I'm sorry if I caused more hate and if you are going to hurt more when I leave again."
    "So..." I whispered, "You guys are really gone?" I asked with tears threatening to spill over.
    "Yes. After you left and told me to leave you alone, Jessica tried so hard to make me forgive her and she begged me to go to your house and say that I was sorry, but I told her no. I told her that you wanted to be left alone, so I was going to give you space; even if that meant we that I had to move away from you... forever."
    "But I never wanted you to leave, Josh."
    "I know, but at the time it was my only option."
    "Then why did you come back and see me if you knew it would just hurt me more?" I demanded.
    "Abby..."
    "What Josh, why would you want to hurt me again? Is that your freaking goal in life? To make my like a living hell?" I almost shouted at his face.
    "No, Abby. I left you because it was for the best and be both needed to move on and meet other people."
    "We had one stupid little fight! And look how that turns out, you move away!"
    "You told me to leave you alone."
    "I didn't think you would take it that seriously and move your whole family like a thousand miles away from me!"
    "Abby..."
    "Just shut up, Josh!" I started to cry but not because I was sad.
    "Abby, listen to me..."
    "Why should I?"
    "Because I've fallen in love again!" he shouted.
    This caught me off guard, "W-what?"
    "I came back to tell you that I met someone else and that I want all those left over feelings between us over and done with."
    "But, Josh... I love you."
    "I know, and those feelings need to stop. I don't want you to get hurt anymore. Damien is a really nice guy, and you deserve him more than you do me."
    I was still looking at him dumbstruck, "You met someone else...?" I whispered.
    "And you did to. I just want you to know that there is no longer a love connection between us anymore! Okay?" he stated.
    "Are you serious?" I asked.
    "Yes, in fact me and the girl are getting married in a few days, so I'm glad that I cleared this right up. I will be on my way now. Goodbye for the last time, Abby Tracy. I wish all the luck in the world that you and Damien are together for a long time." he said quickly.
    Before I could respond with a single word, there was a cold breeze and he was gone... again. Out of my pathetic life. I dropped down on my knees and started to sob.
    "Abby!" I heard someone shout but I didn't respond, it wasn't the silky and sweet voice I was hoping and yearning for, "Abby! Abby, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you?" Damien demanded.
    I could speak, so I just sobbed against his chest, "H-h-h-he's g-g-g-gone a-again!" I cried harder.
    "Shhh." He patted my back, "Common, honey. Let’s get you home. Can you give us a ride, Terrance?" Terrance? Why was he here?
    "Sure, no problem. Anything to help Abby." he said with a chuckle.
    "Now is not the time. Now help me get her to your car." Damien said coldly, "Common, baby, get up, I'm taking you home. It's gonna be okay, I'm here, it's gonna be okay." he cooed over and over again in my ear as we walked to Terrance's car. My face was buried in his chest against nice shirt that was getting stained with my tears. My legs felt all scraped up from falling onto the concrete and my hair was grimy and matted with my sweat. I was a mess, but Damien didn't seem to care. That was the moment I knew that he was truly in love with me. He loved me for me, and nothing else.