• I left her lying in the bed, asleep. I stood over her for a minute and then, nothing. Empty. I walked down the stairs and out the door of the shoddy apartment being careful not to make too much noise as to wake her. I began walking down the road.

    I could taste the alcohol from earlier. It made me feel sick. I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out a cigarette, put it in my mouth, wipped the lighter from my jeans and lit it all in one fluid motion. The smoke enters my lungs. Release. It only dented the stress I was feeling.

    The "act of" for the night was disatisfying at best. The night air only made that more aparent as it bit my skin in places, running down my entire body. I shiver. Aparently I had "Rocked her world." The feeling wasn't mutual. Doing such a thing with a girl was starting to feel like routine. Hollow. It had no good effect on my body, let alone my mind, at all.

    As I walked down the dark street I saw that only one light was on, shining over the asfault underneath with an eerie, otherworldly glow. I found myself stopping in the middle of it. As I thought of the reason why I was feeling the way I was it came to me. The realization. It was all missing something.

    Passion. Meaning. Love.

    I could try and cover this hole with all the booze and women I wanted and It wouldn't do any good. I was missing that one crucial element, The one thing that would make such a night the most wonderful thing that had ever happend to me.

    I had known such a thing once. True happiness in the purest sense of the word. Her name was --------. I felt as if my mind had been smashed open with a blunt object. Fractured now, the contents spilling into my cortex where I could see it all. The vines of memory that I had pruned all the way back into the furthest reaches of my sub conscience so as they wouldn't haunt me, started to grow forth at an alarming and painful rate,

    Taken aback by this I had to sit down. The cold curb now under me. I felt melself swiming within my own past. I could see her everywhere. Saying things to me like It were still then. I could feel the warmth of her skin, just for a moment.

    "Are you ok?"

    I snapped out of it.

    In front of me was an older guy. He had a bag of groceries in his hand. No dout headed back home to his wife.

    "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks"

    I wanted to vomit.

    "You sure? It looked like you were crying."

    "Huh?"

    I go and wipe one of my eyes. Tears. I hadn't even noticed.

    "Really. I'm fine."

    I got up, thanked him one more time and walked away from the light.