HE had known all along and I had felt for the first time a strange remorse build up inside me, a quite dangerous feeling. I coiled up against the wall, hoping the walls would close me in, that no one could touch me, not even him. He edged closer, carefully, slowy, everso slighty, while a stretched grin widened across half of his face. He would never, I thought with care, as I pushed the doubt I felt to the back of my mind. He woudn't even DARE. He knelt down towards me, and I grew scared, for the first time being with him, as I gazed thorugh his stunning, hazel eyes. Save me, I'm paralyzed.....


    8:30. The bell rings. I look up. He glances throughout the romm. I look back down. This is my daily routine, or, you can say, my ritual. After he walks in, he starts to write the schedule on the board. I just stare, gawkig at his perfection. I decide to check his apparel today. Instead of starting up, I look down. His brown slacks suit him- and don't worry, I am not aiming for the glutes. I move my eyes up further. A dark navy shirt is faked-tucked around his torso, yet he pulls it off. My eyes then glance at the ack of his neck, where his new hair is cut in a perfect "V" in the back of his neck. Right then he turns around. I smile. He looks gorgeous today. What I realized is that I finally admitted to myself that i had indeed fallen for him. Perfect, Leslie Peers. Yet what hurts the most is that I could never be with him. After all, he is my Language Arts teacher.

    Right about now you are probably wondering why I am in love with some middle-aged man who is at the least, 30 years older than me, but your wrong. Les, for one, is only 28, a perfect age of youth. He is also insanely beautiful, better-looking than gorgeous and let me tell you, he looks better than any model I've ever seen. All the girls love him and come by the thousands just to see him give a lecture even about essay formats. Even guys do too. Anyways, today was the test and he started passing them out. He counts each head in each row, configuring how many packets are needed for each person. As he reached my row, he glanced down at me, that being I'm in the front row, and slid me an envelope underneath my test. Sneaky. I looked through the corners of my eyes, wondering if anyone had noticed. No one. He then moved on and after he was done fufilling out the procedure, he told everyone he would make a run to the office for more supplies he needed.

    I was curious of the little blue envelope hidden under my test and glanced at it. There was a yellow sticky note attached as well: "After the test, don't open me; wait until everyone leaves." I felt special for the first time, like he wanted me more than anyone else, like he actually had interest in me. I sat there, watching the rest of the students file out, one by one, until i was the only one left. He walked right in then. Perfect timing. " Your timing is impeccible." " I take it that you have seen the envelope?" " Yes, but i never opened it." "Okay, well could you please hand it to your gaurdian, Ms. Vaul." "Fine." He looked at me with curious, as if to wonder what was the reason for such a depressive respose. "I'm sorry, then, if I had troubled you." No! Don't ever think that! " Oh, of course not!" Great. I can't let him know the truth. "I see. Well, please make sure that she gets it directly." "Okay, I will if you want me to, but what does it have to do with her?" He then, as if hastily unprepared for my sudden inquiry blurted out,"It's none of your business, so its best if you keep out of it." Excuse me? " Uh, sure,.. yeah-um okay," was all I could say. That was all I could really do or react to such an involuntary action. " I guess this is bye then," I said sadly, filled with so much pain; I never want to leave him. " Bye," he said, as if feeling the same.


    I arrive home, and head straight up to my room. I throw my overloaded burlap on my tacky bed covers, and pace the room back and forth until I get dizzy. Then, my mind was made up. I decide to open it. I shuffled through my bag, grabbed the envelope quicly, more like snatched it, and slowly tore the left-hand corner with the slightest of ease. I pulled out a piece of folded computer paper and scanned through:

    " Ms. Regina Vaul,

    I hope you understand how you must accept what I have shared with you and that even though my actions were uneccessary, I still would like for you to realize what I meant. I am most sorry for communicating this way with you as well. Thank you for your time and I hope that you, yet again, understand how I feel towards this issue.

    - Leslie Peers "

    I grew numb at the realization of the fate that stood before me. Leslie doesn't even know! Ever since I entered this highschool and ever since she, Ally Canters, entered and became part of the PTG( Parent Teacher Guild), she has tried to make a move on Les ever since. She is trying to take advantage of the situation just so she can see him. She even uses my mother's name and makes everyone think she is my true mother. What a low peice of s**t! I don't usually cuss, but what gives her to use my mother's name?! Click. SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL." What's for din-din?" Do I look like a three year old? I stay silent, giving her the treatment she deserves. " What, are you giving me the slilent treatment?" I love that scowl on her face right now." I snap back, " Hey, you're supposed to be the parent here stupid, or are you gonna break one of you fake french nails?" " Hmph, you think you can talk back to me like that," she replies, trying, just oh so hard to act sassy. Damn right I can!

    "If your father was here what would he say, and even your poor mommy?" That's it, b***h, you crossed the line. I wanted to atack her, but instead I act civiilized and tried to find another ethic. " You're right," I said in disapproval. " I-I am?" "Too bad, Mr. Peers doesn't like you," " maybe it's because you're too clingly and conceited." I smiled as I watched her face drop. I went upstairs calmly, feeling two eyes piercing the back of my head.
    What did the letter mean? I was so confused that I had to ask Les. Even though he might be angry that I sneaked a peak at the letter, what can he say to change it? I came to class early, awaiting his arrival.


    I sat in my desk for the longest time, and before I knew it, I drifted into a sweet, peaceful sleep. Dreams of Les filled my head and I enjoyed it to the point that when I felt two hands softly shake my shoulders, in quick reaction, I swung. My hand slapped a face, one that was smooth, and when I could see with full visibility, I looked and stared in horror as to where my hand was. It was too good to be true. It was Les. He just stared at me in shock, and then his eyes grew friendly and the expression on his face grew serene. " If you hated me that much, all you had to do was say so." He smiled as I tried to explain myself as thoroughly as possible," I-I-Les- I-I mean, Mr. Peers- I- I'm-" He placed his hand over mine that rested on his cheek. " We humans do things we never want to do, things in which we never want to happen," " but overall, what cannot be changed is the human emotion, or feeling, and I would like you to know-" Of course, the bell rings, ending our Kodak, movie-moment. With that, he removes my hand with his, and with both hands places it between his and shakes his head in disbelief. " To think I would do such a thing-" Dey Anite walks in as soon as Les starts, and when our heads spun to the left to notice the arriving student, Les pulls a band-aid out of his pocket and puts it on a random area of my hand. " Smart move, teach," Dey remarks seriously. Oh, no, what's happening?

    " Avy, what happened?" Dey asks concerned. Thank goodness he thought I actually was hurt. " Mr. Peers, if you hadn't treated her, that cut or whatever she got would have been infected!" Leslie and I look at each other, and laugh, but I think I may have misunderstood what Les was about to do. " Hey, what's so funny?" At this we laugh again. The intercom buzzes and reminder: ALL STUDENTS WHO ARE INTERESTED IN ......
    I was too caught in Leslie's eyes, as the both of them turned to listen to the box. I studied his profile and I realized how flawless it was. No awkward ridge or shape protruted from his face. My thoughts were interupted as soon as Dey said, " I guess that's me." " Catch you later, Avy- Mr. Peers." Dey left and as soon as he did, Les removed the band-aid and said, " You must understand that if I hadn't put that on, he would have misuderstood." Now I knew for certain. Les truly does possess the feelings he has for Ally. I didn't know what to do, as I watched him throw the band-aid on his desk, even though, clearly, the garbage can was right beside him.

    <PART 1-END>