• It came all of a sudden, the flow of words. So mad, so rude, so mean, he was. I can’t remember why he hit me but with that force? I thought he loved me. I thought he would protect me from trouble not bring it. As Vanessa looked at herself in the mirror. Who am I? The figure replied in the same voice “ your a selfish little girl, so ignorant that allows herself to get hit.” “Why.” “Because your an idiot.” As Vanessa starts to cry she locks herself in the bathroom. She wants no one to see her in her pain and crissis. To be devoured by the water that she filled up in the tub. To give up who she was, to forget who she waned to be. It makes no sense but it makes sence to her, the lonly girl in the tub that is not caring that she is seconds away from her death.


    Two Days Later




    As Rafeal came back from the trip, the news the news had spread to him almost immeadiatly. No happiness was seen in the halls of einstein high. Vanessa killed herself. His heart stopped. His best friend killed herself. As soon as he heard he fell to the floor crying. He felt like all the life had been sucked from him. He felt like time had stopped and he was the only one who had been ablle to move.

    His warm, river flowing tears left his eyes like a heavy rainstorm. He felt so devastated. Why? He didn’t even need to ask himself that. He knew, he was sure he knew. Micheal, the only one who made her cry. Micheal. I’m sure he hit her or did some horrible thing to her.

    She said that he would be the cause of her death. When I was leaving, she told me in these exact words, “ I love you Rafeal, but if you don’t see me when you get back... you’ll know I’m in great pain.” I didn’t want to leave her alone. She looked like she was going in and out of some type of painful reality. When I turned around I saw the tears streaming down the side of her face.

    I should’ve... I should’ve stayed with her. I can’t be who I am anymore. I’ts my fault. If I would have stayed, I couldve have protected her. I could’ve had convinced her to stay alive. As I wake up, I find myseelf in a hospital bed. Next to me, I see my parents and Vanessa’s parents. Why are we here? Do they want to make me understand why they didn’t do anything about this.

    They knew Micheal was bad, I mean everyone knew. Why didn’t they tell her to leave him? I understand that you want her to be happy but they should’ve have seen how sad she looked. I need them to understand what happened. As I sit up from the bed, I see a box in Vanessa’s mom’s hand. On top, in big bold letters it says “For Rafeal. TO PARENT’S= GIVE TO RAFEAL/DON’T OPEN.” Her mom sees me as I stare. “I’m so sorry. We know you guys were so close.” She hands me the box. I didn’t want to open it cause I was scared for what was inside.







    I wake up later still in the hospital with the unoppened box in my arms. I looked at it and started to cry. Someone told me boys can’t cry because their too bussy looking tough but if they say I can’t cry, they can go to hell. They don’t know what I’m going to do.

    I get up from the hospital bed and change into my clothes. I take off the gown the hospital has put on me. After a while I go to the bathroom to get my hair to look good. It keeps ging into my eyes. I’ts so fricken anoying. There was dried blood on the corner of my hairline but I didn’t care.

    I have to know what happened to her. I walk out of the hospital to the park across the street. I sat down on the nearest bench and opened the box.




    Rafeal, I know I couldn’t tell you goodbye but I just wanted you to know that I love you but I couldnt deal with the stress anymore. He was punching me and then he tried to rape me. I kicked and ran. He tooked me into his arms and dragged me to an iron and said if i ever tried to run away and kick him, he would burn my perfect face and it wont be so perfect no more. So I did it with him. I had no chooice. I cried the whole time . As i walked home thats when the thoughts came. I walked upstairs took about a dozen pills and sat down in the tub and the water flowed untill it was above my neck. Im sorry I did it. But I wanted to tell you I loved you.




    In the box I found her necklace. I put it on and with that I went home and repeated the process she went through. I didn’t know why I did it that way but one thing was for sure: I loved her , she was my only friend. I didn’t want to live without her. And lets face it, my life without her would leave me faithless.