• CHAPTER 174 - PLEASE TELL ME I'M KIDDING MYSELF

    No matter how much you want to deny it, the reality is still there. Part of you is excited, yet part of you wants to die.

    "I assume you're prepared to go to the doctor's?" Kai called out to me from the living room.

    "I'm fine," I huffed, brushing my hair at the dresser with the mirror.

    I was happy to be home; when we arrived, we opened the front door to see Momo sitting in his kennel with bright shining eyes. We had been home for only a few hours and I couldn't have been happier at the moment. I missed the mountain home dearly already but it truly couldn't compare to home.

    Timidly, I stepped into the living room while Kai was lying on the couch and leaning his head against the armrest. He glanced over at me and raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. I was wearing only one of Kai’s button-down shirts and my underwear. I stepped towards the couch and fondled with my fingers and smiled timidly.

    “What are you doing?” Kai scanned me.

    “You thought this was cute, right?” I asked, shyly climbing onto the couch and trying to act sexy. “You like it when I wear your shirts?”

    Kai smiled faintly, “Indeed you look adorable,”

    I sat next to him for a moment, afraid to make the first move. Kai reached his hand out and lightly gripped my wrist, though he flinched a little from pain. I moved a little closer to Kai and then climbed onto his lap, straddling him. Despite how we had made love three times before, I would still get all shy and embarrassed; I felt as though the whole world were watching.

    Kai moved his hands to my hips and looked up at me, “You’re beautiful,” he smiled lightly and kissed the top of my right hand.

    “Thank you,” I leaned over and kissed his ear. “And you’ve always been so handsome.”

    I pressed my torso against his bare torso and he wrapped his arms around my waist. He was colder than usual; he never fed as much as he used to. I would always goad him into going into the city but he always refused. He never wanted me to be left by myself and he wouldn’t feed off of me because he would possibly get carried away.

    I stood on my hands and knees above Kai and looked down at him. I still couldn’t believe that such an amazing boy belonged to me. I smiled weakly at him, “You look hesitant,”

    Kai sighed, “I’m in a little bit of pain,” he started to slowly unbutton my shirt. “But I’ll suck it up.”

    I lowered my head and started to timidly suck on his neck, knowing I still wouldn’t make any sort of mark. After a moment, we were flipped over so I was lying below Kai—on the floor. He unbuttoned my shirt completely and pulled it down a little bit just so my shoulders were showing. Our lips locked and his arms wrapped around my torso again, aligning my body with his. One of his hands slid down my back and fondled with the hem of my undies, teasing me.

    “You stall too much,” I breathed.

    “It only builds up the excitement,” he kissed my cheek.

    Kai kissed my cheek, then down to my jaw line, then my neck, clavicle, heart—of which he kissed for a prolonged time—then my stomach. He moved back up to my neck and started sucking on my skin. He winced a couple of times, probably smelling my blood flow picking up. I tried to keep my heart as calm as I could but it was impossible. How could anybody be calm during such a time? I was so excited that my nausea was starting to kick in again.

    Kai rocked his hips against mine and kept one hand at the hem of my underwear, “Just another moment,”

    Right when we were on the brink of doing the deed, there was a loud knock on the front door. I panicked and stopped Kai before he could shred my undies, “Stop!” I whispered.

    Kai looked up at me, “It’s probably just a delivery man,” Kai kissed my clavicle. “Let him be.”

    “Kai, we’re on the living room floor,” I panicked. “He’ll hear us.”

    “Oh Kai!” we heard Kira sing from outside. “Answer the door, baby brother!”

    I panicked even more; surely Kira heard us during our foreplay. My face flushed to a deep maroon and Kai sighed, “Just ignore him,” he kissed my neck.

    There was another knock on the front door, “Hey! You’re going to give her carpet burn!”

    That was when I gave up wanting another intimate moment with Kai. I pushed Kai off of me and he merely sighed, irritated at Kira and completely turned off. We were finally getting somewhere—and not on a bed. Kai made his way to the front door after adjusting his belt and I dashed into the bathroom, too embarrassed to face Kira at the moment.

    I locked the bathroom door and sighed, buttoning up my shirt. We were so close to a fourth time and Kira had to come and ruin it all. Groaning, I held my stomach and pressed my head against the cool bathroom door. My stomach could no longer hold it in and I dashed to the toilet and heaved up a bunch of vomit.

    “Oh…” I sighed.

    I threw up a little more and groaned. Even though my stomach was hurting like Hell, I didn’t have a fever that time. I quickly grabbed the laptop from Kai and mine’s bedroom and took it back into the bathroom with me before I would have to heave up more bile. I logged onto the internet and went onto WebMD—something I used to use for my sicknesses when I was a little younger. I'd rather use that than go to the doctor's. I typed in my symptoms and filtered through all of the ridiculous sicknesses, but one in particular caught me by surprise. Pregnancy.

    Hesitantly, I clicked the pregnancy option and read through the symptoms and everything else. I wanted to panic; a lot of those symptoms were what I had. Vomiting, fatigue, cramping, lower back pain, etc. I shut the laptop and set it aside, opting not to believe the internet. I couldn’t have been pregnant; I was on birth control. It was ninety-nine percent effective. Unless I was that one percent…

    I took no chances and I rummaged through the linen closet, hoping there were still some of those pregnancy tests Kira and Takeuchi had left us as a surprise gift. I never imagined I’d have to be using those things; I was probably too paranoid.

    Just my luck; there were three of them still stashed away at the back of the linen closet, under all of the towels. I pulled out all three boxes and paused for a moment. What if the tests were outdated and wouldn’t work right? What if I’m just being paranoid? How would I be able to tell if I was pregnant if Kai and mine’s first time was only six weeks ago?

    My stomach countered my thoughts by becoming upset and making me vomit again. I took the tests out of their boxes, read the instructions and did my business. As I waited for the results, I put the laptop back in the bedroom and I could hear Kai and Kira conversing in the living room. Biting my lip, I went back into the bathroom and locked the door once more. I inched my way to the sink where the three tests were sitting, awaiting my doom. I panicked and backed away immediately, holding my hand to my chest.

    All three were clear positives.

    I laced my fingers in my hair and started hyperventilating as I slid down the wall and sat on the ground. It couldn’t be; I couldn’t have been pregnant with Kai’s baby. I had been on birth control even before we ever thought about making love. I never missed a day and refilled when I was supposed to. There was no way I could be pregnant. The tests must have been too old to operate right. I wanted to call Matsuda, but how would I be able to have him check what was wrong with me without Kai growing suspicious? Kai…the last time anybody in his life had gotten pregnant, she abandoned him.

    My world was spinning madly; I was so confused. How would I tell Kai that I was...pregnant? We just got finished having the time of our lives in the mountain and we were finally back to our safe home. All along, Kai had said I would die if I were to become pregnant. I didn't want to die and I didn't want Kai to panic that the worst was happening. As though it wasn't stressful enough that the contract was kicking in...

    I threw the tests into the trash can and wasted almost a whole roll of toilet paper to cover them up. I took a deep breath and calmed myself; they were only defected tests. I wasn’t pregnant; wouldn’t it be almost impossible to tell after only six weeks? I wouldn’t know. Entering the living room, uneasiness settled in my stomach as I approached Kai. Kai smiled faintly and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders and Kira grinned at me, giving me a thumbs-up. I wanted to tell both of them so badly…but I was unsure if it was real or not, and I was unsure as to how Kai would react...