• Once there was a taco named Javier. He was not like other tacos, he was a 5 foot, talking taco. One thing that really made him stick out, besides being a 5 foot talking taco, when he walked, he crapped ice cream. He had all different flavors that egressed from his body. They were anything you can think of strawberry, cake batter, gravy, anything! Javier lived in Uranus. He was not at all doleful, but he was very sanguine.

    He spent most of his day with his two-headed, rainbow cow, named Betty Lou. She provided him with all of his dairy needs. Her milk was a sanguine tint, with little sparkles in it. It had a captious smell of elderberrys.

    There is on problem, Javier is lactose-intolerant, and from the mass amount of dairy products he consumed, it caused him to crap out ice cream. That made him very upset. He was addicted to her milk, but could not digest her dairy goodness. The ice cream was used to feed Betty Lou and himself, so he had no choice to drink it. In Uranus you see, Tacos can only eat ice cream.

    Everyday, Betty Lou would sing to Javier. "My milk is like sugar, these utters got you sprung," when he drank her sweet goodness. One day tho, everything changed

    Betty Lou was cow-napped. With Betty Lou stolen, Javier could not produce the beneficial milk that made the best tasting ice cream in all of Uranus. Sadly now, instead of ice cream that progressed through his corn flavored, taco, butt cheeks, all he can make is a captious tasting clam chowder.

    After days of looking for his jocund cow, Javier heard Betty Lou's jovial song, "My milk is like sugar, these utters got you sprung." "BETTY!" he vociferously yelled. He rushed to where he had heard her voice, only to find out that she was in the Candy Mountain.

    His mind raced a mile a second, "Spike stole my Betty!" he berated. Spike was a racist dragon. But, that was not the only thing different about him. He could not breath fire and was a churlish clean freak. He always had a bad temper because he could not find anything to clean his rancid teeth. He had tried everything to clean his teeth, from grinding up diamonds and using it as mouthwash, to eating the most sanguine and cutest of all animals in all of Uranus, the Snugglepies. They are genial pink bears, with holes in their bellies filled with blueberry pie.

    As Javier peered through the bushes the only thing he found was a pink and blue unicorn harassing a grey, depressing unicorn, as they jumped out of a pink shoe. As Javier looked at the pertinacity figures, he sees spike, the racist dragon jump out of candy mountain to consume the pink, blue, and grey unicorn.

    As Spike ate the unicorns, the blue one exclaims "We found Candy Mountain Carlie!" Just as Spike was about the finish eating the last unicorn, Charlie, the grey, depressing unicorn, he utters his last and final words. "I hate you guys."

    Spike lets out a churlish burp and started to walk back inside his mountain. Out of the bushes came Javier screaming at the to of his tomatoes "Give me back my Betty Lou!", as clam chowder fell from his backside. Spike turned around to see a 5 foot, talking taco, with clam chowder seeping from his morose backside. Spike took one look at Javier and started flailing his arms and ran into his mountain. Spike may be the meanest of all things in Uranus, but there is one thing that scares him, talking tacos.

    Javier followed a gum drop trail left from spike into candy mountain. One odd thing about spike is that because he is so mean, he never cries, but when he does, gum drops fall from his eyes. "Leave me alone!" Spike whimpers as more gum drops fell from his eyes. He continues "I have done nothing wrong." "Lies!" Javier berated him. "You have stolen not only my cow, but my best friend." "but i have never stolen anything in my life." Spike protested.

    Out from the side of the Candy Mountain, came a purple, singing mail box. As the mail box opens his mouth, there was a caustic sound that filled the air. "Here's the mail it never fails, it makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes i want to wail, MAIL!" *Crickets chirp* "It's true" said the mail box. "Spike may be mean, but he has never stolen anything in his life," he continued. "Spike is only cantankerous because people have always made fun of his teeth for being so bad. He only wishes to be a normal dragon that can set things on conflagration, and not to find ways to make he teeth stay white." "Thats when your sweet Betty Lou heard me" Spike interrupted churlishly. "she heard me crying three days ago and came to my mountain and told me about her milk, and what it has done to you." he continued. "You make the best tasting ice cream in all of Uranus."

    As he finished, Betty Lou came out from the mountain. "Spike may be racist, but he only became that way because of the unicorns. They have always made fun of how his teeth are." "But he killed them! I saw him eat them!" Javier berated at Spike. Spike then turned to Betty Lou and said "Your friend is quite rude, huh?" Betty Lou smiled and continued. "I knew that my milk would only help Spike for as long as i gave him my milk, but i remembered about the unicorns. The blue and pink ones will make you as healthy as a horse, and the grey one will make all of your problems vanish."

    As the words left her mouth, Spike began to act weird and started to glow. His teeth started to shine bright white, and they became straight and perfect. Spike is no longer a racist dragon. Just as he was about to breath fire for the first time, out from the sky came a chopper. Oprah stepped out of the chopper, and tackled Javier and ate him in one bite. She then drop kicked the singing mail box and destroyed it. Just as Spike was about to kill her, Oprah took Excalibur from her man bag and killed Spike the no-longer-racist dragon. She went through his pockets about found the deed to candy Mountain, took Betty Lou into the chopper, made her self and glass of her milk, choked it down in one gulp, turning her into Chuck Norris.

    As she was about to leave the mountain, he said "You will never get away from me again Betty Lou!" And he lived happily ever after.