• Was I wrong? Did I make the wrong decision? The wind rustled through my hair, which was matted with sweat and neglect. I looked down below to the cold pavement and imagined myself there, bloody and wrecked. Would I feel it? Did that even matter? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. No. I didn’t want to live anymore. Opening my eyes to look about the city again, I caught the graveyard in the distance, gloomy as ever despite the bustling city surrounding it.
    I had chosen that building for a reason. I could see the graveyard clearly under the street lamps, casting eerie shadows on the graves. I could go there so easily, one little step was all it took. I could be with her again.
    Another deep breath and I lifted my foot. It could be so quick, I thought. The wind blew again and I shifted my weight over the edge of the building. I hadn’t even noticed tears in my eyes until they brushed up the sides of my cheeks. I felt a scream build up in my stomach as I dropped from the edge. I was wrong. I made the wrong decision. I didn’t want to die.
    I opened my eyes and looked around. The city rumbled beneath me. I wasn’t atop the building, though. I hung high in the air, dangling from a long red ribbon. It was wrapped loosely around my chest, but not tied. I supported myself with a strong clutch around its silky fabric.
    I looked below myself at the city, same as usual. Same traffic jams with horns honking and old men screaming. Same ‘Don’t Walk’ signs and impatient children tapping their feet and holding their mothers’ hands. Same girls taking pictures of themselves in their groups of friends. The same homeless men begging them for change, and they run away, giggling and screaming. The moon was in the dark sky, not contributing to anything in the perfectly lit city. Everything was just as it always was, except for me, dangling from a long ribbon in the sky. Holding on as though I mattered to someone below.
    The wind blew again, stirring my hair, and unraveling the ribbon from around my chest. I tightened my grip in fear, but it caused my whole arm to cramp up. I felt myself letting go. I tried to grab back on, but I couldn’t. Gravity pulled me down. As I fell, I remembered the drop from before. I didn’t want to die, I thought. I don’t want to die. I screamed, silently as that was all i could manage, and blacked out.
    When I opened my eyes again, I was in the air once more, hanging onto the red ribbon, same as before. I looked down to the city and saw all the people, same as before. Nothing had changed. The ribbon swayed in the wind, back and forth.
    This time I held on with both hands, tight as I could manage. Below, no one noticed me hanging there. I had never noticed before how many people there were, and this was only one city in the world. How many people were there on Earth? And still no one noticed me hanging there, holding on for dear life. A dear life that I had already tried to throw away.
    Was my life really that pointless to those people that they would ignore my cries for help? I screamed, begging. Someone please look. No one looked. No one bothered to bat an eye. A lump formed in my stomach, bubbling with anger and desperation. Why wouldn’t somebody listen? I wondered if I was that ignorant in my life. I was. It was as if they were all killing me by not caring, by going on like nothing was different. People were disgusting, I finally saw. I didn’t matter to them. Without me, nothing was different. No one was affected. No one gave a damn about whether or not I let go of that ribbon.
    So I let go. I didn’t want to see those people ignore me any longer. I didn’t want to be just like them. I didn’t want to be alive in a world with monsters that didn’t know anything about what went on around them. No one would ever understand, so why should I live? I felt myself drop, but this time I didn’t scream.
    The wind blew through my air as I plummeted to the ground. Tears were forming in my eyes but I didn’t bother to notice. The ground grew closer and closer and soon I would be free, without a care in the world. But I realized, that would make me just like them. I just turned my back on the world instead of facing it, just like any weak, neglectful human. I regretted my weakness. I was just like them.
    I hit the pavement below. No heads turned. Anger.
    The pain was instant, unlike I’d imagined. It surged mercilessly through my body and I felt myself crumpling under the pressure. I didn’t want this. I was wrong. I wanted to be back with the people that were ignorant, just as I was ignorant. I wanted them to see me.
    I blacked out, only to find that once I opened my eyes I was back in the air, hanging from the ribbon. The pain in my body was gone and I had as strong a grip as ever.
    I didn’t call out this time. No one could hear me. They didn’t want to hear me. Instead I managed to pull the ribbon around my waist and tie myself to it. I felt a little safer like that.
    I knew I couldn’t rely on the people below to help me down. I was almost sure I’d end up dying some way or another.
    The ribbon swayed in the wind, turning me around to see the entire city. I saw the building I fell from before. The pavement below still looked just as cold and lonely. I never did hit it as far as I remembered. Why did I jump in the first place?
    That was the one question of the night I could answer. I jumped because of her, the most beautiful girl in existence, and she was everything I’d ever wished for. I could have saved her, but I didn’t answer the phone. They found her body smashed at the base of that building, mangled and crushed. Carved into her arm was a morbid message: “Love is dead”.
    She had found her mother’s hanged body after coming home from school. Her father left them, and her mother couldn’t handle it. Her parents were everything to her, and their falling out was so confusing that she went insane. And I didn’t pick up the phone. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up to the ring. I heard it, but I decided it could wait.
    I killed her. She was everything to me, all mine, and I couldn’t save her when I was given the chance. I felt the ribbon slipping around my waist.
    I saw the graveyard as the ribbon spun me more. I imagined her body buried in the ground, still beautiful besides the damage. I wanted nothing more than to have her back. I wanted to be with her. The ribbon slipped more, and I began to pull at it.
    I hung on with my left hand and untied the knot with my right. The tears in my eyes were all dried up and I looked towards the graveyard once more. the ribbon was no longer swaying and the wind was still. I let go, falling silently, no screams of terror, no realizations of regret. There was only a peaceful drop to beautiful death. I wanted to die.
    When I hit the pavement, there was no instant pain, just a soft feeling of a massive weight pressing down on top of me. Everything slowed down and darkness swirled around me. I could faintly hear the people walking about me, no one turning to look at my body smashing to the ground. But they didn’t matter, Earth was fading away from me. Take me to a happy death, I thought, take me. I closed my eyes and finally died. I couldn’t care less about the people. I couldn’t care less about my life slipping away. There was only her. And she would be mine forever.