"What do you want
What do you want from me?"
Those very lyrics flowed in one ear and out the other of this poor fellow on a long walk as he headed somewhere different. He didn't want to think about where he was going, he just wanted to forget what he'd just learned.
The gravel beneath his feet crunched and creaked with every step under his thick leather boots. His long legs barely felt the aches of walking for possibly hours on end. His arms were locked at his sides with his hands burried in the pockets of a tired jacket. The jeans he wore had seen better days. There were rips and some holes from the history they had been through.
The freezing temperatures brushed his numb face. He could barely feel anything anymore. His deep brown eyes had shown that he was almost dead on the inside. As his long brown hair flew back from his shoulders, he tried to keep the feeling of numbness in him. Eyes stinging, he finally stopped at a tall willow tree. It was only then that he realized how heavy his legs felt. How dry his eyes were. And how much he wished for something different.
"Don't go wasting time on something else..."
He heard a little whisper as he slowly fell to the ground. His back had grazed the rough edges of the tree trunk, his boots stopped his legs from moving but so far from him. His knees where close to his chest, he could feel his chest moving slowly.
"I still have these pictures of you here..."
"You left me alone... You left me alone."
His eyes began to fill with tears as he slowly realized that everything was true.
"It's all over, over, it's all over, over, over."
Removing his hands from his pocket he found a crumpled piece of paper and a tiny, wilted flower. Unfolding it he saw that there was a few names written in ink. Sara and Will... He forgot that he even had a picture of his ex-girlfriend and him in there.
How long had it been since he wore this jacket? How long ago was it that they broke up? And what was the fight about again?
Will had forgotten it all. He just gently petted the picture with a finger. She had a smile that he always thought was bright as stars. Her crystal blue eyes always were mystical and knowing. In the picture her hair was spiked up with hair gel and colored with neon colors. Will smiled slightly when he remembered her true hair color. Black. So plain, so unique compared to the many people around them that had always went with light colors.
Did you really mean to say those things? He asked himself. Did you mean to tell her how stupid she acted? Did you really leave her for someone else who tricked you to being her fool? Do you think she'll forgive you?
"We made vows to not let go, but where are you now?"
Will's breath became ragged from the pain he kept feeling in his heart. Why didn't he stay with her like he said he would? He always promised her that they'd be together. It seemed to get worse and worse as he thought of the many promises he made and had broke right in front of her.
A loud ring came out of his left pants pocket. His cellphone rang out with a sad song. Will hadn't recognized the number, so he waited and waited for an answer to come to him.
Should he answer it? Or should he let it go to voice mail?
Finally he just ended the call. It probably was just one of his buddies... Trying to get wasted and wanted him to come along for the ride. If it was really important, the person would call again or leave a message.
"But you know what it does to me when I see your number on my phone."
His phone vibrated; trying to tell him there was a new message for him.
Will had thought about throwing his phone at the setting sun. Just to give him some more time to be alone and get peace. But he wanted to know if the message was from the woman he had loved. Or was it the mistake he had been with?
Is this Will?
It was from the same number that tried to call him.
Dialing in the number, he tried to keep a calm, steady voice for whoever was on the other side.
First, it was just one ring. Then three had passed until finally someone answered it.
A tiny voice. Soft, shallow, and trying to stay together. He couldn't put his finger on who it possibly was.
"Uh, hello... Someone called?" He tried to sound like he was actually there.
"...Yes, I called... I-is Will avalible?" She sounded as if she was almost as sad as he was. Could it be Nickie?
"This is him... Who's this?" His voice was hollow.
"Do you really need to ask? Think back, Will... Can you do that?" He could feel the tears that must be running down her face right now.
"Why'd you call, Sara? Is something wrong?" Cracked. That's how he sounded to himself. His voice just had so many cracks in it as he tried to talk.
"You left some things here at my apartment... Did you want them back?"
He thought about it and Will couldn't remember what he may have left there. He took a long pause to gather up the courage to answer her.
"Yeah... Do you mind picking me up? I, heh... I sort of walked myself to the middle of nowhere... I'm sorry if it's any trouble."
"It's not... Uh... Where?" Her voice went up and she stopped talking.
The phone clicked; the call had ended. Sara must have done it. He didn't know if he should call back or what. So he sat there for a moment until he decided to send her a text message.
I'm at the willow tree. You know the one... Thanks again for picking me up. -Will
Twenty minutes had passed and the only thing that had came for Will, was the rain. Will didn't know what to think, besides that she must have chose not to come.
Sighing, he had started to get up and stretch his legs. Will felt like needles and pins were digging deep into his muscles. Bending over her rubbed his calfs and tried to massage out the pain.
Lightning broke the sky and soon came the loud boom. It was at that moment he had lost all hope. Instead of waiting for the rain to stop, he just began to walk. Out of the cover of the willow tree, the rain hit even harder. The only happy thought he had was that the rain was probably going to stop any minute.
He kept thinking back to the days he and Sara sat out under the same tree, just watching the sun set. The stars glow, their love grow... He even remembered the last day before it all began to end.
They had packed two blankets, some food in case they got hungry, and a boom-box for them to play a cd if they got bored. It was a night that they had planned for weeks. Sara had given him a new jacket just for that night. It made it even more special to him.
Will also had a surprise for her, but he kept wanting to wait until it was just the right moment. He thought and thought of how he could give her his present. On the outside, he looked as calm and steady as he was before they dated; but on the inside, he scambled around worried she wouldn't like it. Worried she'd laugh at him. It all felt too wrong. She wouldn't laugh at him, right? She'd accept it with love... Was he right to think this? He had been unsure for three days. How would he ever keep up this charade?
"I'm glad you like the jacket... It suits you." Sara smiled shyly as she hugged him.
The green on his jacket clashed with the orange streak in her hair as she laid her head gently on his shoulder.
"I love it because you gave me it." He whispered as he brushed a few strands of hair from her eyes.
The stars had just came out and they were shining like fireworks for the couple. The boom-box was playing a soft love song, one blanket had covered them and the other was on the ground, keeping the dirt and glass away.
Sara's short hair had small spikes in the back, her bangs tried to conceal her eyes. Her beautiful, blue eyes. Her skin glowed softly with the light from the stars and the moon as the two of them sat under the willow.
"Hey, Will?" Her expression turned from curious to questioning. "You said you would stay with me forever... Do you really mean it?"
She turned her face towards his and stared deeply into his eyes. Staring back, Will opened his mouth slightly to answer but found he closed it. The words buzzed around in his head.
Yes, as long as you'll have me... But it felt wrong and difficult for him to say.
"Sara... You know nothing is forever..." He began and Will started to notice her lips curving down. It almost seemed childish that she was frowning for him just saying that.
"I do love you. I promise to be around as long as we can together, but forever? Things could happen and we could just... you know..." He trailed off as she pulled away from him.
Sara had let the blanket fall off of her. Her face screamed stay away from me. Will knew he blew this night with her.
"I swear that I can go on forever... again...
Please let me know my one bad day will end."
Sara had gotten up and grabbed her things. Trying to clean up before she left. Will tried to stop her but she kept grabbing things.
"Sara. Stop, please." Will pleaded with her.
"No, Will. I won't." She had finally grabbed the blanket he was sitting on and rolled it up knocking him over.
"Fine! Go ahead and act like a stupid child! Are you really mad at me for telling you the truth?" His voice was raised and his face was red with frustration.
"Stupid? Child?! Is that what you think of me? Huh? Fine then. Go stay with your friends while I go home. You, you... JERK!" She screamed and threw his cd at him.
That was when the rain had broke through. It came down softly and grew harder and harder as the seconds drew out.
Will was left there in the dust and rain. That was when they started to grow more apart until one day he had met a young, blond woman.
Sara and him were on the brink of splitting up and both were trying to fix it all by going out to lunch. Just to try and talk things out. Sadly that day had ended with Sara taking back her key and Will leaving with Amy
Three monthes and they were together as a couple. Amy had made him think he was happy with her. Think he was important to her, but it was all lies she had fabricated.
It was one night he had walked in on her kissing a tall man. His hair was cut short and hidden in a beany. The man had think rimmed glasses and baggy clothes.
"Amy?" Will had dropped his keys and a small bag that held a tiny box with gold earings.
"Will... Well... This is Ron... He's my real boyfriend... Uhm... Let me explain things..." She moved herself in front of Ron, who looked as confused and shocked as Will felt.
"You lied to me..." He's voice was falling.
"Not exactly what I meant to do... I was trying to get him jealous and actually think of how I feel when he does this to me." She held her chest with her right hand and pointed at Ron.
"So you did what he does to you? Did you ever think of how..." He threw his hands up in the air and circled around to face the door.
"I'm leaving..." Will picked up his things up and threw the box with the earings to her. "These are for you..."
And where was he now? Back walking down the road. Hoping to get home where he could just collapse and stay there.
"Is love even worth it?" He asked himself as the rain hit his face.
The thought of love made him sick. Made him wish he never said those words to Sara. Made him wish he could just make things right with her. But since he thought she wasn't coming, he should just leave her be...
Up ahead of him, he began to see headlights. Probably some poor soul who got lost on the main road... Will moved over, giving room between them. But instead of the car keep going, it stopped right before him.
Covering his eyes, he tried to look at the driver. Who could that be? I know it's not really Sara... Is it? Maybe it's Amy?
"Hello there, the Angel from my nightmares. The shadow in the background of the morge."
"Will! What are you doing? Get inside!" It sounded like Sara, but the figure that came out almost looked nothing like her.
Long hair, long firetruck-red hair. A lip ring that hung more to the left side of her lower lip. Purple streaks in her hair gleamed as she stopped in front of the headlights. Her clothes clung to her as the rain hit. She wore a black tank top and a white long sleeve shirt that fell below her wrists. And a black, pleated skirt with black high heels.
"Sara?" Will said with a short breath. "I thought you didn't want to come?"
"Get your a** in the car Will! You'll get sick if you stay out here!"
Yep... That's Sara.
"Sara, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have said what I did to you. It wasn't fair." Will walked closer to her, trying to get her hand; Sara had pulled away, holding her sides for warmth.
"Will. Get in the car, we can talk about that later... What happened to what's her name? Why aren't you telling her how much of a child I am?" She said with bitterness.
"And I'll miss your laugh, your smile. I'll admit I'm wrong if you tell me. I'm so sick of fights, I hate them. Let's start this again... For real."
"She isn't important... We're not together... Apparently we weren't really together. Sara, please listen to me. I'm sorry. I love you. I always will."
Sara turned to face away from him. Her face showed that she was having mixed feelings about this all.
"Why should I trust you? You practically told me a lie! You said that you'd never leave. Hell, you told me a lot of things that weren't true!" She stomped her foot in the mud.
Will wrapped his arms around her. He remembered that she was tiny before, but compared to him, she was like a china doll. Small, delicate, fragile, and cute.
"I didn't know what I do now... I miss you. I love you. Please..." That's when he finally remembered his present he meant to give her before. Pulling out a small box from his left pocket in his jacket, he caught her attention.
"So here I am, I'm trying. So here I am, are you ready? Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you. Always. Kiss you. Taste you, always."
She finally looked him in the eye and started to cry.
"Sara... Please be mine." He kissed her cheek softly.
Opening the box, it held a small ring. White gold, a heart-shaped diamond, with a small engraving. "As Long As You Have Me"
"I will, if we can go back and start this all over again..." She said as she closed the box.
Will understood it wasn't a rejection, but a promise to accept it later. As they got in the car, they both smiled slightly.
Was this going to be the beginning of their new love? Will and Sara both had the feeling it will last... Forever as Will had promised before.
"Forget this dream, do you want me here? As I struggle through every year, and all these demons, they keep me up all night!"
- Title: Will This Last Forever
- Artist: BatzLove
Songs used in this were
"What Do You Want"~ Jerrod Niemann
"It's Over" Cinema Bizarre
"Silent Scream" Cinema Bizarre (I think I used it...)
"Always" Blink 182
"I Miss You" Blink 182
"Up All Night" Blink 182
Just a love story? I guess?
- Date: 10/05/2011
- Tags: will last forever love
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