• He took a seat at the bar. After a minute he took off his hat and wrapped it around his knee. He never thought it seemed like an odd thing to do, and he didn’t question why he did things the way he did, it was just what came naturally to him. The bartender came around quick enough.
    “What’ll you have?” he asked.
    “....Scotch.”
    “Rocks?”
    “Yeah.”
    After a moment the drink was placed in front of him.
    “Anything else?”
    “No thanks.”
    He spent the next few minutes just staring at the glass, watching the condensation fog the sides, then slowly bead up and drip off, leaving a rigid streak of clear for a moment. Every little while he would touch his fingernail to it to start another drop on it’s way. As he stared at the glass, he could feel his mind following along, slowly fogging, then a sudden bead of clarity, soon clouding over again. With a clatter Jay took a seat next to him.
    “Yo!”
    “Hey.”
    “What this? When did you start drinking?” His tone suggested he almost didn’t believe it, but at the same time, was just looking to get a laugh.
    “I still haven’t.”
    “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t look like you’ve touched it yet. Oh hey, there’s Dalton. I’ll be right back.” And he was gone as quickly as he appeared.
    He turned to look down at the glass again but was interrupted by a voice.
    “You don’t drink?”
    He looked up to see the bartender standing there, wiping down a glass with a hand towel.
    “No, I made a vow to never touch it.”
    “What brought that on?” he asked.
    “I don’t really know. It’s just something thats always been there.” And he didn’t know. Try as he had he couldn’t remember a particular time when he made it. He just always knew in the back of his mind, the day he broke it, would be the day he died.
    “To each his own.” And with a shrug the bartender moved on. Jay returned after another minute.
    “Alright. So, how is everything going? You feelin any better yet about what’s-her-name? Carol?”
    “You know thats not her name.”
    “I know. I’m just.”
    “I got it. And thanks.” He knew that this was Jay’s way of trying to be comforting.
    “So?”
    “I’m good. I guess. All things considered.”
    “Give it time. You’ll be alright.”
    “Yeah. Time. Hm.”
    “What?”
    “You believe in past lives?”
    “Nah, I don’t believe in all that extranormal stuff. Past lives, fortune telling, magic 8-balls. Do you?”
    “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like this has all happened before you know.”
    “So it’s a repeating universe?”
    “No, not like that. Like, I’ve done this already. It’s happened. Me and her.”
    “Hmm.”
    “It’s like, How good it was. How easy it started, how everything just felt so natural and right. Like we were really meant to be together. Then the way things went from good to bad so quickly. How quickly she changed. A hundred lives ago somewhere I met her, for the first time. And we fell in love. And for a year and a half it was great, then....something. I did....something. I said the wrong thing or I cheated or I don’t know. I just, I screwed it up! I hurt her! I was her first love and I hurt her, and she’s never forgiven me for it. It was unforgivable. And now, and always, every lifetime, we’re reborn, and I just search for her, and we’re drawn to each other, and every time I find her. We fall in love again. And things are great until a year and a half. Then it’s like she...”
    “Remembers?”
    “She knows. She just suddenly knows. She knows we shouldn’t be together, that she isn’t supposed to let herself love me. And she leaves. And I lose her again and again and again. And I just live out the rest of my life waiting to die. Because the sooner I die, the sooner I can start again. The sooner I get my next chance to find her. So I can spend that short time with her, trying to make up for what I’ve done. Hoping that someday, A million lifetimes from now, she forgives me. And we can actually be together.”
    “Wow. So what does what mean?”
    “It means.... I don’t know. Nothing. It’s just a lot of talk. I’m just being a downer.”
    “C'mon man, you’ll find love again. Chin up.”
    “Yeah, I know.”
    “Yeah, you know.”
    They both just sat there for a minute, by now the ice had nearly completely melted, the napkin under the glass was completely soaked through.
    “What time is it?”
    “11:30. Still got half an hour.”
    “Everyone here now?”
    “Few people are still showing up, but mostly. You actually gonna join the party?”
    “Maybe, you go ahead, I’ll sit here another minute.”
    “Alright. Just remember man, all new year, full of all new possibilities.”
    “Yeah, thanks.”
    He took his hat off his knee and placed it back on his head while turning around in his chair.
    “Happy New Year.” He heard from behind him. Half startled by the words he looked up to see the bartender returned.
    “Thanks. Happy New Year.” And with that he stood up to walk away.
    “You gonna take your drink with you?” he heard. And turned to look down at the glass.
    “Right. I’ll take it with me. Just in case.”