• There are always moments of clarity in which we think. . . Reflect. . Reflect on our lives. What we've done. What we could've done. What we should've done.

    Most people have these little moments of reflection and it's depressing. We try to keep ourselves busy mentally or physically so we don't have time to think.

    I remember back in high school. . Well, not really much to remember. I was a nobody in high school. Grades went down the drain, I was to insecure to join any sports, and to anti-social to join any clubs. I was a ghost. If the high school was a sea, I was a ripple among waves.

    Sorry. Got a bit off track. Anyway. Back when I was in high school, I always wanted to make a name for myself. Get out of my brother's shadow. Have people call me by name. Now "Oh, there's his brother." So, I was always angry. But I never let my anger show. . Because I wanted to be different from my brother. From my family.

    Don't get me wrong. I love my brother. He's always protected me, and we haven't fought since we were young. But I was always treated as a kid. As a child who couldn't protect themselves. I always thought "I don't need anyone protecting me. I can protect myself." But, boy was I wrong. I was a 90 pound nobody. And my stubbornness got me bullied since I refused to tell people who my brother was after he left high school. Got my chair taken from under me, my food taken, called names, and even the people I called friends I learned didn't respect me.

    So, I started working out.
    Angrily
    Thinking constantly "When I get bigger. I'm going to beat everybody up. "
    And I got bigger. More defined. But. . .The bigger I got. The more powerful I got. And the more I learned how to fight. . . The less I actually wanted to fight.

    I realized something.
    I'm afraid. Not of being hurt.
    But hurting someone.
    Badly. And the repercussions of my actions.

    I only got into one fight after I got my muscle.
    I won. Easily.
    But, later that month. . .I got jumped. Got my jaw broke. Needed it wired shut for a month.
    I realized every action has a reaction.

    So. . I could have gone after the people who jumped me.
    But I decided to let it go. Life is to short.

    I'm not really sure if this still pertains to "Highschool Flashback" or not, but I just really wanted to tell this story.