I have a secret... well... I guess that's nothing special right? Who doesn't have a secret?
The thing is, my secret has multiple secrets within it, and multiple twists, and turns in it. I'll try and explain this to you as best as I can, through this ink, on this empty piece of paper. Before I tell you, I don't want you to blame yourself for anything. It's not your fault. I realize that now. As you read this, just know that this came from the bottom of my heart, and that, even though it may not have the best grammar, spelling, or word selection, it's the truth.
So here's the secret: I used to cut.
I have my reasons, and I'm not saying I'm proud of it, because I'm not. I'm ashamed of it, really.
Here's the other part of the secret: Only four people know. One person, is a complete stranger to me. Two of them are my closests friends, whom I trust more than I trust myself. The other person... is my art teacher.
You see, we had to do this project, and it had to be something "personal" to us. Well, I couldn't really think of many things that I could draw, and this secret was the only thing that I knew how to draw. Well, as it turns out, we had to explain our rough sketch of it to him, face to face, before we could go any further. So, I told him.
I for sure thought he was going to judge me, send me to the consuler, but he didn't. He seemed to understand, and he seemed to... I don't even know how to describe it with words. It was like he was giving me sympathy, but not pitty.
But no, the only thing he did, was nod knowingly, and recomended me a book. What no one knows is that, I couldn't have felt more relieved when I told him, like someone actually cared. For that, he's my hero.
So here's the next part of the secret... I almost killed myself, but I had saved myself by stopping the blood flow... the secret in this secret is, I wish I hadn't. I regret it everyday.
Here's deepest secret of this secret: I was lying. I never stopped.
- Title: Secret Upon Secret.
- Artist: Torcimento Destino
I'm really kind of afraid to put this out here, because I'm afraid one of my friends will recognize it. It was something that I had intended to show someone important to me once, but I chickened out.
So here I am, this is me.
- Date: 02/01/2009
- Tags: secret cutting
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