Since I was born I always had a strong connecton with my mom. She was my inspiration, my life line and my favorite person in the world. She always helped me back up when I fell down. Through the years though we grew apart but not for the reasons you think. My mom is an alocholic who buys at least one six pack of beer and wine every week. I feel as if I don’t know my mom anymore because its always the beer talking. She use to be sober and happy, but now that she is a drunk I can’t even talk to her without a fight. Because of the alchol her marriage with my dad is falling apart and I have to sit at the top of the stairs every night and listen to them screaming at each other to leave.
My house hold use to be peaceful and free of conflict but now its constant fighting. I find myself having to choose sides between my mom and my dad of whom I love both. I cry almost every night for my parents sake and for my own. I miss the old days of watching them smile together and acting as if they were eachothers halves to complete a whole. As for me, my mom seems to want nothing to do with me anymore. She has said countless times to me that I am lazy, and have no ambition in life, and ultimately will be a failure in the future. I don’t know what to do because I’m trapped in a world that is tarring me apart. Every good thing that happens to me she tares me down.
Right now I can’t even go on a simple car ride with her because she drinks and drives; and let me tell you its really scary. In the car you could see her swirving on the road but not only that but you could feel the car vibrating as she hit the little warning gurdurs. I fear I will be in a car accident with her and I fear that she will be in an accident if she continues to drive. She never leaves the house without alchol and she disquises it as gatorade and soda as well. If you got close enough to her you would be able to smell the alchol on her breath. My dad knows she drinks but he knows that he nor I or my sisters can do anything about it. So I have to sit there and watch my mom drink her life away, and make herself miserable.
She refuses to to go to alchol rehab which she has been to once before when I was younger and she refuses to cut down on the amount of alchol of which she consumes. I find myself almost every night finding her alchol and pouring it out when she is asleep. The worst part of it is my mom is already sick with Hepatitis C which attacks the liver, and drinking the alchol kills her liver even faster. I’m afriad that she might end her life before I have a chance to get out of highschool or even try out for american idol. All I want now is the old mom. The one that tucked me in at night and made me feel as if there was nothing else in the world that made her happier then to be with my sisters and me. Every night I pray to God that the alchol won’t kill her, and I also pray that she will quit, but these are only hopes and dreams of which will never come true.
- Title: A mothers bond being broken
- Artist: soccerbabi13579
- Description: quote--I feel as if I don’t know my mom anymore because its always the beer talking. She use to be sober and happy, but now that she is a drunk I can’t even talk to her without a fight.
- Date: 06/14/2009
- Tags: mothers bond being broken