• All I could remember was waking up in the hospital waiting room. I sat there looking for my mother wondering were she had gone. I heard a loud cry coming from down the hall I followed the cry and ended up In the emergency room next to my mother. I turned to her and saw her holding on to my brother. I heard her sob “he can’t go bring him back, my son.” I didn’t exactly know what was going on all I could remember was my brother being rushed to the hospital. I turned to my mother and saw the purplish bags under her eyes from not getting enough sleep. I didn’t know what to do after that.
    My brother was like my father he was always there for me and I could go to him for anything. Even though I was his little sister he treated me like his own kid. I sat there looking at my brother wondering if he was going to open his eyes, he didn’t. my mom turned to me and said “ he would have wanted you to have this” she gave me his cross that he always wore. I didn’t know if I should take it or not. I took the necklace out of her hand and hugged her tight. I whispered in her ear “ everything is going to be fine.” we got up and walk out of the room I look back as the doors beginning to slowly close behind us and I watch the image of my brother disappear. We finally get to the car, I crawl through to the backseat and sit there starring out the window at the blue sky. The drive on the way home was silent. We arrived in the drive way of the house I quickly grabbed the necklace and got out of the car. I unlocked the door and walked straight to my room. I sat in my room looking at all the photos of my brother and I remembering all the good times we had and how much I would miss them. I laid the pictures on my nightstand and began humming the song he and I both loved. I had dozed off into a peaceful sleep and all I could remember was my mom waking me up for school. I crawled out of bed got dressed ate a bowl of cereal and headed out the door. I walked to the bus stop and sat there until the bus arrived an hour later. I was always late to school because of the stupid bus always coming late. I finally got to school I walked through the hallway doors and there was no one to be found. I walked to my first class and made my way to my seat the teacher glanced over at me and just continued talking like I was there the whole time. First period was over I gathered up my books from my desk and walked out the door. I walked with my head down not paying attention to were I was going and then next thing I knew my books were on the floor. I bent down and began picking them up this beautiful, gorgeous skater boy named Ethan with long black hair about down to his shoulder and one eye covered and snake bites with skinny pants, vans and a fall out boy t-shirt on came over and picked up one of my books and handed it to me. I looked up and are eyes met we sat there starring at each other for a brief second and then he turned around began walking away. Then he quickly turned his head looked at me and smiled.
    School was finally over and I walked to the bus stop and saw Ethan waiting there to with his skateboard in his hands. I walked over and sat there next to him we looked at each other and then looked away and then bus pulled up, I got on and headed toward the back. I didn’t really like sitting in the front I felt more safer in the back. He followed me to the back and sat next to me he opened his backpack and pulled out a psp and began playing it. He was getting very angry and began yelling at the thing so he put it away. His phone vibrated in his pocket, he pulled it out and answered it. I guess he was talking to his mom because I heard through the other side of the phone a women yelling at him like he had done something wrong. He was clearly perfect in everyway what more can I say about him. He ended the conversation with the person he was speaking to on the other side of the phone. The bus stopped on a side street were I had to get off at. I grabbed my backpack and headed up toward the front I walked out of the doors and headed toward the direction of my house. I walked through the door of my house and my mom sat there at the table with a long needled poked through her skin shooting heroine into her weak body. I stood there in shock and watched as my mother shoot more and more into her system. I walked slowly toward the table where she sat I didn’t dare take my eyes off the needle that laid across the edge. I walked up to my mom and saw how her veins were showing so clearly and her skin so pale. I walked over to the fridge grabbed a frozen pizza and shoved it in the oven and turned it to 350. I didn’t want to walk away from the kitchen not knowing what my mom would do. I walked over into the living room sat down on our black leather couch and turned on the TV. I heard the timer go off so that must have meant the pizza was ready. I got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen and pulled the pizza out of the oven. I sliced the pizza into eighths and then walked over to the cabinet to get paper plates. I put the pizza on the plates handed one to my mom and then I ate mine. My mom sat there looking at the food as if I had poisoned it with something. She picked up the pizza and threw it at me. I looked up at her horrible red bloodshot eyes and I felt tears building up in mine. I excused myself from the table walked over to the kitchen sink and began washing the pizza sauce off me. After I had most of it off I went to the bathroom took off my dirty pizza stained clothes threw them in the clothes hamper and hopped in the shower.
    I finished up in the bathroom and walked toward my room when all of a sudden there was a burning smell coming form the kitchen. I ran down the hallway and into the kitchen when there I saw the stove on fire and my mom asleep on the couch. I opened the stove grabbed the bare pan out of it, the pan quickly fell out of my hands and suddenly I couldn’t feel my hand no more. I looked down and my hand was bleeding uncontrollably I quickly grabbed the rag from off the counter put water on it and wrapped it around my hand putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding. I walked over to my mom who was knocked out on the couch turned off the TV. I pulled the blanket off from the back of the couch and wrapped around her. I walked to my room went over to my bed and sat there with my knees up to my chin and my hands wrapped around them. I sat there crying and listening to my mom snore from the living room. I fell asleep and had forgot to set my alarm I woke up and saw what time it was it was after seven o clock. I jumped off my bed headed over toward my dresser tore threw my clothes trying to find something good to wear. I found a pair of old red and black checkered skinny pants and an old forever the sickest kid t-shirt and an old pair of beat up black low top converse. I threw my clothes on walked out my room and grabbed a breakfast bar from the kitchen. I headed out the front door and walked toward the bus stop. I got there and waited for the bus to arrive it finally came I got in and walked to the back I sat there looking out the window and saw birds flying through the dark blue sky. The bus finally stopped at the end of the street I got out and walked toward the school. I walked up the stairs and through the hallway doors. I walked through the doors of biology class and saw that every seat was taken beside the one next to Ethan. I walked over put my backpack on the outside of the chair. I sat there as stiff as a rock why because the guy I had a crush on was sitting next to me. Are biology teacher announced to the class that there was a project do in a month. The biology teacher assigned us partners and of course he put me with Ethan. I didn’t mind being partners with Ethan but then I was scared because that meant he had to go to my house and work on the project and by the way my mom was it wasn’t a good idea. I know her, she would judge the way he looked and acted the moment he walked through the door. I didn’t want that to happen because I was afraid of that because my mom would blow it for me and then Ethan would never talk to me or look at me again.
    Class was over and we were dismissed. I walked through the hallway and over to my locker. Then I saw Ethan and he was at his locker which was just three down from mine. He grabbed a notebook and a pen and then slammed his locker door shut. He disappeared through the big massive crowd of people. I walked through the doors to the cafeteria and stood in line to wait to get my lunch that we had to pay for. I reached into my pocket to see if I had enough money because lunch was $3.50. I only had 50 cents. I got out of line and walked over to the table near the very back. I sat alone like always because everybody in this school thought I was weird and didn’t belong in this world. I sat there looking at all these teenagers having fun with there friends talking and laughing. I wish I could have a friend like that, one that would like me for who I am. Ethan came over and asked if the seat across from me was taken. I answered in a low whisper “no” he sat across from me and looked at me in a kind way.
    We sat there looking into each others eyes and I was uncontrollably in love with him. I didn’t know if he liked me the way I liked him. He asked if he could go to my house so that we could work on the project. I didn’t know what to say or what to do it was silent for a brief second and then I said “I don’t know if that is a good idea” he looked at me with confusion and then thought of another idea. He said in a sweet voice “why don’t we go to my house then” I looked out the window for a second and then answered in peaceful voice “sure why not”. we began talking about all the things that we have gone through with are families. It sounds like we both have gone through pretty much the same things in a our lives. The bell rang when lunch time was over Ethan and I got up and walked through the cafeteria doors.
    We walked down the hall in silence. Everyone was giving us such devious looks I felt so uncomfortable. I couldn’t really get why people were starring at us. Ethan walked me to my next class without saying a word. I opened the door to the classroom and walked to my seat with my head down with my hands in my pockets. I was finally in my seat when the teacher finally realized that I was there. “Oh nice to see that you made it to class on time” announced the teacher. I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, next thing I knew I was asleep. The bell woke me with a sudden “ring” I jumped out of my seat and ran through the door. I wasn’t paying very much attention when I ran into Ethan. “Oh s..ss..orry” I stuttered. I didn’t realize it was Ethan until I finally looked up. Ethan helped me up from the floor and dusted me off. “sorry about that” I said. “it’s ok I don’t mind I mean it was an accident right” he said. “yeah it was” I mumbled. I began to walk off when he grabbed me by the arm and twirled me around until my face was just inches from his. We stood there starring into each others eyes not even realizing that the bell had rang and we were the only two in the hall. “ I’m sorry I got to get to class” I said quickly. “wait would you like go to a movie Friday, I mean if your not doing anything” he said I looked at him clueless for a minute and then answered very quickly “yeah sure”. “ I’ll pick you up at 7:00 then is that ok” he said. “yeah see you tomorrow” I mumbled. I walked to my next class. I walked through the door to my seat. The teacher seen me return walk to my seat but didn’t say anything.
    School was finally over. I grabbed all my stuff and headed down the hall and out the school door. I headed over to the bus stop and waited for it to arrive. Two hours later the bus had finally arrived. I got on and headed toward the back were I always sat. I sat there and starred out the window as the bus drove down the street. The bus stopped at the corner I got out and headed toward my house. I got inside and began walking down the hall toward my room when my mom came up behind me and pulled me by my hair and dragged me to the kitchen. She threw me against the table grabbed the knife from off the counter and walked slowly toward me pointing the knife at my stomach. I sat there and I couldn’t move my mind was totally frozen. She threw herself toward me with the knife going through my stomach. I fell to the floor grasping my stomach. I held my stomach and felt this warm liquid run down my arm. I began crawling toward the living room for the phone I reached out to the coffee table and grabbed the phone and began dialing 911. The phone rang and the assistant finally answered on the other side of the phone. “911 what’s the emergency” said the lady. My words stumbled out as I tried to say, “h-hhelp me please” I cried.
    Before I could speak again the phone was yanked out of my hand. My mom held the phone in her hand not knowing that the operator was still on the phone. She sat on the couch with the phone next to her. She looked over at me with a threatening look, picked up a shot with a very thin needle and began shooting heroine into her weak body. I laid there on the floor as I watched my mom poison herself with this deadly drug that she shot through her body. I screamed as loud as I could to get my mom’s attention she jumped up off the couch dropping the needle she had. The phone fell from her lap dropping to her feet I grabbed the phone and began to tell the operator what had happened and were I lived. The phone fell from my hands and the operator on the phone said “stay with me the ambulance are on there way”, my eyelids closed and suddenly I stopped breathing. Five minutes later the ambulance arrived they picked me up and strapped me to the gurney. They began doing CPR, my heart started beating again I opened my eyes and realized I was in the back of the ambulance truck. I was hooked up to a machine with many tubes that were all over my body. We arrived at the hospital and they wheeled me out of the truck and headed toward the emergency room. I dozed off into a restless sleep and when I had awoken my whole family was there. The only person there that I truly cared about was my uncle he has always been there for me no matter what.
    I looked around at my family and I noticed one person was missing besides my brother who had passed. I didn’t really care about my mom because ever since my brother had passed she began doing drugs like that would help take away the pain. My uncle came over to the side of the hospital bed took and my and said “your mother went to jail so you can choose either live with me or a friend”. I sat there starring at everyone not knowing what to say. I finally answered in a soft whisper “I could ask my friend Ethan that’s if he doesn’t mind.” it was the next day and I was finally able to go home. I got into a wheelchair and my uncle wheeled me out to the car. He helped me into the backseat and then he closed the door and walked around to the drivers side and got in. he pulled out the drive way of the hospital and headed down the road toward my house. I sat there starring out the window while my uncle sang along to Kenney Chesney. I hated country it made me want to hide in a corner and slit my wrist. I would rather listen to disturbed because that is the kind of music that is real hardcore. We arrived at my house my uncle came around got me out of the car and wheeled me up to the house. He unlocked the door, pushed it open and wheeled me inside. When I got inside it looked like I haven’t been there in a while. When we got inside my room, my uncle helped me onto my bed I laid there looking at the wall trying to remember everything that had happened last night. I dozed off into a restless sleep, when I woke up I headed down the hallway toward the kitchen when I arrived in the kitchen my uncle was cooking me breakfast. “look who finally woke up” announced my uncle. “what are you still doing here I thought you left last night” I said sleeplessly. “ well I thought It would be a good if I moved in with you” said my uncle. w-what wait no, I told you I was going to ask my friend if it was ok if I lived with him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind” I said. “ NO! you are going to stay here and I am going to live with you no matter what, even if you don’t like it you understand”. my uncle said angrily. “ok” I said and walked down to my room. I walked over to my dresser and picked out a pair of black skinny pants, teal and blacked stripped tank top, and my favorite pair of vans. I walked to my bathroom and got dressed a minute later I was done, I turned to look at myself in the mirror and I noticed I was forgetting something. I thought to myself for a minute and realized I had forgotten my makeup.
    I walked over to my nightstand, grabbed my purse and dumped my makeup out on the sink. I took my black eyeliner put it on the bottom and then on the top. I put the eyeliner down and picked up my black eye shadow and applied it to my eyelids. I was finally finished I looked at myself one more time in the mirror and headed out the bathroom. I walked over to my door opened it and headed out into the dark hallway. I walked down the hallway in complete silence, I turned the corner and my uncle had eggs, bacon and pancakes. I sat down at the table and starred at the food with a disgusted look, I wasn’t hungry at all. My uncle looked at me and said “there something wrong with the food”. I looked at him with confused eyes and then finally answered “ I’m not hungry”. I got up from the table and headed out the front door and walked toward the bus stop. The bus was a few minutes late, I got on and headed toward the back like usual. I sat there and starred out the window the bus drove away and a few minutes later the bus was at a complete stop I looked up toward the front of the bus and saw a couple o kids from my school get on. Then Ethan came in last and headed for the back, he came and sat next to me I didn’t really mind if he sat next to me. It was silent for a minute and then he said “so you still on for the movies Friday”. I sat there for a second looking at him through confused eyes and then finally answered “yeah can’t wait”.
    School went by slow today and It seemed like it went on forever and ever. I dozed off in class while my teacher went on and on about how to many teens are committing suicide because they have such horrible lives. I didn’t really care what she was talking about because I had gone through that stuff and I didn’t want to go back to that life again. Class was finally over I got up form my seat grabbed my books and headed out the door. I walked down the hall with my head down and holding my books against my chest. I wasn’t paying attention when suddenly I realized my books where scattered all over the floor. I bent down on my knees and began picking up my books. Another hand joined in and began picking up the books. I looked up and realized it was Ethan our eyes met and I loved the whole minute we shared together. He handed me my books and said “you look very pretty today” with a smile, He asked if he could walk me to my next class and nodded my head up and down. We walked down the hall and one of my hand fell to my side. He traced his hand down my arm and slid his fingers down the palm of my hand and through my fingers and closed his hand tightly against mine. My heart was beating fast and it felt like It was going to burst out my chest. We finally reached my next class and he let go of my hand and leaned forward our lips just inches away and next thing I knew our lips were touching and then we where kissing. We stood there for a few minutes and then my teacher walked out we quickly pulled away. I quickly kissed him on the cheek and entered the classroom. I walked to my desk sat down and zoned off into space. My teacher came in and said she had an announcement to make and then told the class she was expecting her first child. My teacher called on me and I quickly snapped out of my zone and said “yes” she looked at me for a second and said “ can you please pay attention for once.” I nodded and listened to my teacher as she talked about how she couldn’t wait to be a parent and then the bell rang and class was over.
    I quickly made my way through the hallway and towards the door. I was outside and I made my way over to the bus stop. I looked behind me and realized Ethan was behind me. I turned around giving him a confused look. He took my hand and held tightly in his and we sat there waiting for the bus to arrive. The bus arrived an hour late we got up and headed toward the back of the bus. He let go of my hand, looked at me and smiled. I looked back at him and then turned towards the window and starred out at the blue sky. We got off the bus and he walked me to my house we were on my front porch he kissed me on the cheek and then headed towards his house. I walked inside the house and realized something was burning I quickly headed towards the kitchen and noticed my uncle must have been stabbed about 3 times. I dropped to my knees trying to catch my breath I crawled over to where my uncle laid held his head against my knee and began crying. “please come back, please I need you.” I said whispering. I heard foot steps come behind me and I quickly turned my head around and realized it was my mother. She had about a 10 inch knife in her hand with blood dripping form the edge of the blade and on to the clean slick floor. I picked up my uncle and headed toward the door. I reached the door and then I looked behind me and saw my mom walking towards me in a slow creepy way. I ran to the car with my uncle in my hands and opened the door to the car and laid him in the back seat. I had forgotten the keys and ran back inside as I began running I fell. I laid there for a couple seconds and then saw old, dirty feet stop in front of me. I looked up and saw my mom standing in front of me. I struggled to pull myself up but then I had finally gotten up and headed towards the front door.