• Sarah Marie Tayton. She always was so perky and optimistic. She would always help others and put them in front of herself. She was never selfish. She had many friends, many true friends. I was one of them.

    I was new in school and no one seemed to like me, so I stuck to myself. I had lunch with her, and she realized that I was new so she decided to sit with me. She was all smiles. Finally, she got me out of my shell and we became fast friends.

    She always helped with everything. A homework problem, a boy problem, or something like that. One of my regrets was that I never was able to help her with what she was able to help me with. I would always try, but I could never be as good as her.

    Sometimes, I would get jealous and mad at her for being better than me and I would pick fights with her. But, she could somehow always get me to forgive her. Probably because of her personality. No matter what, I thought of her as a best friend.

    Years flew by and we got closer and closer to where we even thought of ourselves as twin sisters. We never left each other's side. Then, one day, she didn't go to school. I got a little worried considering she never missed a day of shool. So, after school, I went over to her house and saw an ambulance in her driveway.

    My heart had never beat so fast before. I ran all the way to the front door and swung it open. There, Sarah was sitting on the couch looking uncharacteristically blank. Her mother was shaking and had her head in her hands. Her brother had his arm was around her shoulders, but she looked completely unaffected.

    "W-What is wrong, Sarah?" I asked, my voice quavering. She didn't answer me. Unstead, her brother spoke, "Dad. H-He....He comitted suicide.....He hung himself....Here....In the Living Room...." I gasped and my eyes widened. I looked at Sarah. She was still emotionless.

    Sarah's dad had always been like a second father to me. He was charming, cheerful, and always took time out of his work to be with Sarah and her brother. He was almost as optimistic as his daughter, but not quite. He never seemed like the type to commit suicide. But, neither had Sarah....

    A few months passed by and Sarah barely spoke, ate, or slept. She never tried to suceed in school, she never went to any of her friends parties, and she lost interest in almost everything. Sometimes, I would have to practically force food down her throut. Even then, she would barely eat.

    Soon, she started to pale and looked too skinny. She started wearing long-sleeved shirts and I learned that it was because she was hiding where she had cut her wrists. That only seemed to make me panic more. I started hanging around her more and spending the night more often.

    One day, I decided to go get help for her. That must have been one of my biggest mistakes; I didn't bring her with me. I came back to get her and found the ambulance there again.

    I ran up and opened the door, and there she was with a rope around her neck and her pale skin paler than normal. She was laying in the paramedic bed and her eyes were closed. Her mother was crying hard and holding onto her son. I gasped and I swear my heart stopped.

    I ran over to the paramedic and asked what had happened. They said that she committed suicide from severe depression over her father's suicide.

    Sarah had always been so optimistic and cheerful, but that all changed when her father died. I never expected her to be one to commit suicide. But then again, neither had her father. I was so crushed when my best friend had died and I never felt the same.

    Years flew by and many times I visited her grave when times were rough. I visited her mother and her brother, they were doing better. But, they were still shook up about having lost two family members close to them. Her mother finally married again and her brother went off to college and became an author, writing about his sister and father.

    Another one of my regrets was that, I never got to apologize to her. Before I left to get her help, we had a fight. It was small, or at least it would seem small to others. But, to me, it was one of the worst, most painful, last fights I had ever had.

    I had called her selfish and told her that she wasn't even trying to get better or trying to get over her father's death. I had said that she didn't care about how she was hurting everyone else, especially her family and I, with the way she was acting. How she wouldn't eat, sleep, or talk. I said that it was too unhealthy and that if she continued to act that way, then I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore.

    One thing that hurt me the most was what she had said after. She had said, her last words, "Then, why don't you leave me? I am too much, aren't I?" Then, I had had enough and told her I was going to get her help. Then, I went off to the hospital. There, I had explained what happened and, while walking down the hall, I saw paramedics running past me. They were yelling about how someone had committed suicide. When I saw the ambulance in Sarah's driveway again, I somehow knew that it was her, but I didn't want to believe it.

    I still miss her and I wish that she was still with me now. Sometimes, I have dreams that she is there and is talking to me, telling me how her father and her are. I even had one where she said that she and her father were in Heaven. I asked her how considering that she and her father commited suicide, but she said, "The Lord forgives. We are with him now. I miss you, Anne. I really do. I miss being able to talk to you, the only time I can is when you fall asleep, but, at least I still have my father, and the Lord. Also, I can watch you when you are not sleeping."

    It made me feel happy to know that she was still with me somehow. I was also glad that she and her father, both such wonderful people, were in Heaven with the Lord. I knew that she was happy now and it made me happy, too. I told her mother and brother about this and they bother seemed to get better as time progressed.

    I will never forget Sarah. My first best friend. The first person who I loved like a sister. I was crushed when she died, but I somehow moved on. I feel sorry when I see others say how they want to take their own lives because no one wants them. That is not true. Out there, somewhere, someone wants you.

    I know that if I every committed suicide, many people would be very hurt, confused, and dissapointed with me. I have read stories where someone's family member, or friend have committed suicide and I feel like crying because I remember Sarah and her father.

    I miss her very much and I have cried many times just thinking about her. I even cried while writing this. I hope you all learned how suicide can affect those around us. I will never forget Sarah or her father. I will always love them...