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One year ago today is the anniversary of the most breath taking experience of my life. Who would have thought that a simple day trip to Syracuse would turn out to be the most memorable weekend ever. This weekend would be when I would finally find what some people search for their whole lives. The day Brendan and I would share our first touch, our first kiss, our first embrace. The day Brendan and I would realize that we were meant to be together. That we were perfect for each other. That true love, was not just something in fairytales, but something real and glorious. Beautiful, yet unbearable. Uninhibited, yet restrained. And nothing either of us could ever imagine.
The plans we had made were simple. He would come to pick me up from New Hartford and we would go back to Syracuse. We would watch a movie, explore the ruins of a WWII fort, go to have a nice dinner at a sushi restaurant, and then I would come home. But the fates had worked in our favor, allowing me to become stranded in Brendan’s loving arms much than originally planned. The movie was Spirited Away, Brendan’s favorite. It was a surreal tale of a small girl in trapped in a Japanese bath house for the spirits. His calm voice soothed my heart as he explained some of the Japanese culture to me. He sat tall, after all he was six foot two, and his frame was trimmed, toned, and built. The perfect athlete. As he spoke, I could tell that every single syllable he uttered was completely from the heart. He spoke with not only conviction, but immense honesty.
Our journey continued forward, taking us to a towering ruin of a WWII fort. It’s
broken form reached desperately towards the heavens, only two fractured staircases
remained on either side of it’s tortured frame. A small opening lay underneath and we ventured inside, darkness completely enveloping us. I grasped firmly onto his muscular hand, searching for comfort. He squeezed back. I found what I was searching for. Onward he guided me, the warmth of his callused palm pressing against mine sent chills throughout my entire body. Even on the uneven footing, he walked with the grace and confidence only a trained fighter of his skill could portray. Our eyes were blinded for a moment, daylight devouring the darkness as we reached the other side. My heart sank, knowing that our journey was already halfway over, and soon I was to return home.
“C’mon!” he smiles, even with his eyes, sunlight making the turquoise shine in a miraculously beautiful way. “Don’t you want to see what it’s like up top?”
I admit I was rather curious, but my tremendous fear of heights kept holding me back. That handsome face looked down at me, earnestly waiting for and answer.
“Why not?” I reply much to my fears dismay. Suddenly, I am being led off towards the fractured staircases. Slowly I begin to climb, everyone of my limbs quivering uncontrollably. A cold sweat sprouts forth from underneath my skin, and my heart is a constant, strong, and rhythmic drumbeat. Something brushes my shoulder, my breath is but short gasps of air, and I’m back on solid ground. The warm blanket of love that is his embrace comforts my soul.
“You’re so scared, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” I snuggle closer, and he holds tighter. The smell of campfire and morning dew fills my nostrils. It is his smell, and there are no proper words ever concocted by mankind that could even amount
to and adequate description of its beauty.
The lighting inside the restaurant in dim, surreal. The moments of the day were
overwhelming and it felt as if I was swimming under water. He ordered the sushi. White tuna and salmon, a new delicacy my taste buds had yet to experience. A musical myriad of tales and memories he told were as interesting and beautiful to me as one of Beethoven’s symphonies. He would tilt his head, smile, and pull on the collar of his black dress shirt ever so slightly. I loved that I wanted to know everything, and I pressed on with an increasing curiosity. At that time, and even still to this day, Brendan was a mystery to me. I wanted to dig deeper and solve it. At that time it was my purpose, my drive. It was my ultimate goal.
That night, it was decided that I was to get my way. I was not to go home as soon as expected. In fact, I wasn’t forced to leave my Brendan that night at all. My emotions were a melting pot of variety. Ranging from excitement to fear. Anticipation, and dread. I knew he wanted me, and I him. That much was clear. But was it too soon? Most would agree, but I didn’t care. We had been talking for months, and something kept telling me that I had nothing to fear. Everything would be okay, spectacular even. Little did I know at the time, that spectacular didn’t even begin to cover it.
We sat on the couch and talked, and very subtly he kept moving his body closer to mine. Very slowly. My fingers explored his mop of golden brown hair, and his hand caressed my cheek, lips coming closer. I moved in for the big moment, but his face flew past mine to my shoulder. “You’re such a tease…”I utter. “I can only tease so long…” he
whispers back, and our lips come together.
It was a slow passionate kiss. My body temperature rose and my heart felt like it would just explode. A hundred families of butterflies fluttered frantically in my stomach, and he gently laid me down, lips pressing harder. Hungrier, but it was beautiful. No matter how nervous I was, I knew that it was supposed to be like this. We snuggle closer together, and fell asleep in each other's arms.
My body tingled allover slightly as I opened my eyes. He stared longingly back into mine as he ran his fingers through my hair and down my neck. “Good morning.” he said, “How’d you sleep?” “I never slept better.” I replied and kissed him gently on the forehead.
That’s how it all began, and even to this day Brendan and I are still going strong. What we share is magical, and nothing and no one shall ever make me feel the same way again, because, with all of my heart, I know for sure. I know that I love him.
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Title:
Realized Love
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Artist:
Charli21
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Description:
An essay I wrote for my English 101 class. It's about my first date with my current boyfriend. The picture is of him.
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Date:
11/21/2009
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Tags:
realized
love
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