• I seem to have lost my mind, I don't quite know when but I do know I have been like this for a long time. Whispers from the wind filled my ears, even when there was no breeze. Those whispers gradually got louder, at times they spoke to me as a friend and over time began to ask me to do things. There tasks were simple, I carried them out not realizing the power I was feeding them. The tasks got heavier though, the ones that went against my morals I refused, I still held onto myself back then. The voices got weaker for a time, or so I thought, then depression hit me again and the whispers became clearer again. This time though one became more then a voice, that voice I refer to as "Him", he has no formal name, no origin, and he resembles nobody from my past. For he and I are the same person, I see him as a reflection of myself on stronger, and with eyes of blood red. His eyes are the source of his power, I have worn these eyes before, I despise those times of weakness and some I can scarcely remember, others are clear as though they were yesterday.

    Him, he became a ally for me at times, but I learned of his tricks. He feed me lies and I ate them up, he promised me power and I followed him like a dog, he handed me what ever I wanted with ease and I praised him like a king. Then he tried to get rid of those close to me, push them away and get me alone again to leave me to my own devices. I refused though, I held them to dear to me and then I realized he lied and manipulated me for so long. I still find times of weakness where he can convince me of things that I cannot prove to be false. Those closest to me are like a security blanket a child would hold, they push him into a corner and block him out with just there presence. I cherish my memories with them and every second I spend with them are like seconds of paradise almost.

    Him, he tries to get rid of them though, especially the one closests to me. He cant make me do anything with his whispers anymore, but he can manipulate my dreams. I cant control them, I cant block them out when I have these dreams, they stick in my head and I see them each time I close my eyes. He wants me to crack and loss all sense of control. He tries to attack each weak spot that surfaces but I have grown strong just as he has. Each day is another battle in my mind, I wear a smile and pretend its all ok but thats because I cant let them worry about me. Only those closests to me see past my empty smile and I worry them deeply. This has become the biggest weakness of all though. My guilt for making them worry so much about me, for making them hurt themselves mentally and physically protecting me. They protect me as if I were there own burden, though they tell me that they do this out of love, I cant help but see the lies he feeds me in there eyes.

    I must become stronger then Him, I work hard to do so. I work to push him away even when I'm alone. I'm still a long way from being ok, and each day that passes is another day lost. I know if I cant defeat him, before long he will defeat me completely. I've had nightmares where my mind finally shatters, I watch from a cage as it is Him living my life now. Smiling that same empty smile but now instead of a sadness hidden behind it or in those eyes there is only anger and plots of destruction. I fear the monster that would become of me should I let him win, I fear the safety of those close to me. They would put there lifes on the line to protect me, as I would for them, but I fear they would die protecting me from myself. I refuse to give up as so many others have though, I feel as though they protect me for a purpose they don't know themselves. That I or maybe someone I influence should achieve something amazing, I cant give up until that happens. Then I can finally be free of these voices, they are my curse, but the friends they have brought me are my blessing.