• I felt... scared or more like terrified. I had never experienced such a thing. The darkness was overwhelming and the screaming... it was like nothing that I have ever heard before. Little children were being torn to pieces infront of my eyes and there was nothing to be done about it. All I could do was stare and when it was my turn... I suppose I fainted at the first hint of pain in my limbs. That is when I woke up frantically trying to fight off the large suspended deciple of evil that was no longer there... deciple of evil... perhaps it wasn't for surely God or some heavenly spirit had sent it to Earth to suck the lives out of the innocent and guilty. Myths, they are all myths... stories of demons and angels set in place to scare the innocent little children into remaining just that... innocent. What is innocence? What is perfection? All retorical questions never to be answered by the abyss above and below. My uselessly analytical mind has kept me from sleeping soundly. The dreams... nightmares; if such a thing exists, have changed my entire state of mind as well as my day to day life. All I can truly focus on is the end... the end of eternity, the end of the human race, the end of technology, the end of evil, the end of good... the end of something that will never truly be understood... something that has given and taken, something that we are familiar with... something that doesn't truly matter in the end. There is no meaning or perhaps that is the meaning. What is the meaning of meaning? We have gotten too far to turn back now. We have destroyed the destroyer. The split personality of the world kills us, sickens us and causes us pain while meanwhile the other personality comforts, soothes, entertains and brings forth new sprouts with little meaning other than to keep us alive for our suffering and misery. The world has conspired to suppress these terryfying facts but alas they are revived. I have made countless efforts to cast these grave thoughts out of my mind as well as the minds of many others but why not embrace our fate? why not embrace our... destiny if you will. some say that we should live to the fullest but how can we be certain as to what the fullest is? Why do we go so far as to protect and serve others when we are given only slight reconcilliation and recognition, when it will all crumble to dust in the end?
    My mind is tired with age although it's gears turn in a young body and my eyes see what others do not see, do not understand. I myself struggle to understand things, to understand the horror that my mind puts me through. How I ask, do we manage to live on a day to day basis when the world is coming to end? I find it curious that the number of people taking thier own lives is lower than that of what I can imagine it would be if more people knew the truth.