Run

• Artist: tandem_echo
• Description: I enjoyed writing this one! It's quite creepy the tapping is someone's steps.
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags:

Is your breath getting shallow,
Are you getting tired,
tap, tap,
Don't stop running,
Don't stop breathing,
tap, tap,
Don't fall,
Don't trip,
tap, tap,
I'm coming,
No need to race,
tap, tap,
Are you tired yet,
You seem to be swaying,
tap, tap,
Too bad,
I told you not to stop.

Comments

[Hane no Kori]

It's good. The idea is interesting, but I think you should change the punctuation so that the questions are actually questions. Also, while the "tap, tap" is a good idea, I find it a bit distracting.

[OoOCrystalMoonOoO]

*Shivers* I like it alot =)...the sort of jokeing dont stop througout....for some reason i feel happy when i read this....