Reality Check

• Artist: from my hands
• Description: This poem is about a fallen angel, losing his wings and becoming mortal. I don't have an inspiration to this work...
  
  This is my first entry in the arenas, and hopefully there are many more to come.
• Date: 07/24/2008
• Tags: fallen angel reality mortal

Mourn the angel---
How gracefully he falls!
Wings, ripped and shredded,
Stretching upturned palms
To the abandoning Mighty One.

Mourn the angel---
Watch him fall!
Dipping, mouth agape
In silent screams...
Who will save him now?

Mourn the angel---
Spare him a passing glance.
He slams into the gravel
And his eyes close, gently against the pain,
As he embraces his loss, with mortality's kiss.

Mourn the angel---
How he's changed! watch him fade!
For he is now just like you!
Welcome him to this sickened earth---
Welcome him to reality with your greedy eyes.

Comments

[Adderall Sleep]

This is a very nice free-verse poem.
If you're looking for it to appear more professional, you need to work on the sentence structure a bit.
But as far as plot, writing, and word choice, it is a decent piece.
I would give it a 3.5/5 if possible.

[Sincerely Metalhead]

i love angels, so this i love...keep posting work plz! and if ya dnt mind...could ya give me feedback on my songs? just search Breakout then search Pity. plz give me some feedback on if they are good or not...i need to get better somehow...but i love this work you did! 5!

[Xavie90]

nice poem, I wrote something close to the same topic, an angel losing its wings, but never became mortal. I hope you keep posting!

[selene_queen_of_a_lost]

well i hope there is going to be more i can't wait cuz i love it!!!