• Brittle nails rigid and breaking and cracking under the icy blanket,
    skin cracking and ripping,
    Lips tearing at the seams.

    Voice rasping and choking in laughter.

    Grinning teeth white and exposed to the winter air,
    burning and aching against the stinging breeze.

    You were my winter.

    Shaking and shivering and frozen to the core,
    bones fragile and weak from the intenseness of the season,
    your hands traced the goosebumps on my sides,
    hands perfectly shaped to fit the curve of me.
    Exposed and cold.
    Clouds stretching from our clenched teeth as we smiled and exhaled deeply,
    The air was too cold and burned our lungs,
    anxious to escape it.

    Eyes white from the skies reflection.
    Grasses cracking and breaking beneath our shoes.
    Running and searching for a place to hide.

    The pale sun edging its way towards the horizon.
    A snapshot kept safe from the rest of the world.
    They wouldn't understand,
    we kept it to ourselves,
    and smiled when the thought resurfaced.
    A secret that was ours and no one else's.

    The sky grew darker and deeper,
    stretching forever.
    I told you I wanted to stretch out with it,
    feeling like I could last forever at that exact moment.
    I told you I wanted to wrap myself in the stars and pour everything out from the inside.
    I was so warm against the bracing cold.
    I pulled your hand to my chest,
    and we could feel my heart beat in my lips.

    Your voice pierced the silence that had been lingering.

    Nothing was ever enough.

    Swelling rising in the throat and eyes stinging.
    Nothing was ever enough.

    Heartbeats quickened and danced in our chest,
    rising up to meet our necks.
    Excited and living and breathing and running and searching and finding comfort in the ideas of each other.
    Exchanging every passing thought and attempting to reason with the feeling of uncertainty that was reaching out and grabbing us from our roots.
    Believing and wanting and dreaming and fighting and screaming and pacing and running and running and running.
    We were always running in opposite directions.

    Winter was our season.
    It was ours and no one else's.
    No one could take that from us.
    The stillness that seduced the world.
    Nothing moved,
    Breathing quickly,

    The sun slowly rising again.
    Rising and reaching and climbing and living,
    everything was living.

    The cold receded and you drew back.
    Our eyes stopped glowing and our fingers no longer ached.

    You slid your hand into my pocket one last time as we stood and I cried and i melted.
    I could feel everything happening.
    Every nerve stood on end as the words leaked from your lips
    And nothing was the same.

    I was left standing,
    feet barley to the ground,
    arms hanging limply.
    I tightened my fist.
    I wanted to feel the ache in my fingers.
    I wanted to bring it back,
    if even for a moment.
    I wanted something to cling to,
    something to remind me of the winter.

    I sobbed, and no clouds escaped.
    The grass was alive and moving and wriggling beneath my feet.
    I stepped out of the shade,
    and the sun warmed my skin.


    You were my winter.