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Soaring through my mind's eye,
A tail of roman candles
Lighting the spirit to firecrackers.
Eyes that were the sparklers
Lit in the hands of children
That prayed our myth.
I painted him
With the reds of his scales;
The scarlet of his breath
Melting
The tundra of my skin.
- by Phoenix OrDinni |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 09/26/2008 |
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- Title: New Year
- Artist: Phoenix OrDinni
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Description:
This is a love poem (those that know me can shut the hell up) I dedicate to -BLANK.-
So, yeah.
EDIT. Corrections made. - Date: 09/26/2008
- Tags: newyearlovepoem
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Phoenix OrDinni - 09/26/2008
- Danke, Summer.
- Report As Spam
- Summer Fallwinterspring - 09/26/2008
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This, being polygamy, is also legal in Utah, provided I pretend to be mormon.
You have sn? You give me sn, yes?
I hate these little word blurbs I have to fill in. - Report As Spam
- Summer Fallwinterspring - 09/26/2008
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Love poem? *is puzzled* Jung?
"Lighting the heart" seemed a bit . . . idk . . . overdone, kind of. Maybe "warming me" or "lighting me" or whatever would work better.
I ******** love that second stanza. I'd marry it, if that was legal. I believe it is in Utah. Must look into further.
Same with "painted his heart." In fact, "heart" is just kind of a cliche word on its own, and if you just put it "I painted him," it would come off as more sexual. I also would marry the last three lines.- - Report As Spam
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