• Are you the one I heard about who pushed that boy in the handicap stall and made him a man when no one else would- he was a freak.
    Are you the girl who became a lesbian when she got jealous of her best friend?
    No, they’re all lies.
    But if you knew the truth if you knew the whole story
    You would depict them in a far more flattering form
    If you knew what chemicals drove me in those sick actions
    You’d talk about it sensitively like I was a cancer patient
    You see my disease isn’t far from terminal
    I suffer all the time and see an ending to everything
    I hold on to hope as would one who’s accepted fate
    What would you do?
    I think you’d have no choice.
    The grey of your heart is no less surprising
    Than the bright light I hide in mine
    All this mud I dig myself out of the grave that I was dipped in
    As I watch you on your way down in the ground where I rise from
    Is it right then of me
    To be repulsed by the one I used to be
    Is it fair to hate the ignorant
    When I demand of them such sympathy
    Oh I’m an awful, awful person.
    But what can I say
    I’ve seen so many days
    Far more than any my age should
    Now what can I do
    See my life’s far from through
    Far from new
    So I guess I’m in the middle
    So high above those I spend most my time with
    I hate to look down, frankly heights scare me
    So far beneath some others
    That I hate to see my failure
    But its only immaturity, dear self, you’ll grow to their height in due time.
    So humanity, let me ask of thee
    Why oh why is my hatred reserved for you
    I love love love only a select few
    All the rest are far to far
    From my realm of insanity
    All the rest are much too far
    From concerning me in their daily day
    That I have but to exile them as the majority
    As society
    As the ugly things I am not bothered with
    For if they were beautiful out of respect to my eyes, then I would have honored their efforts.
    But there are so many who are indifferent to what I may see
    And these are the evils
    This is the humanity
    That I so often curse
    That I wish so often to love