The Dust On The Windowsill

• Artist: NarniNarNar
• Description: I was inspired to write this from my room. Its so cozy and nice in there, but sometimes it gets kinda lonely. I don't really have any friends, so I tend to just sit up there in the corner and either write, draw or think about things.
• Date: 10/13/2008
• Tags: dust windowsill lost alone girl

Up in a room
In a little white house
Up the stairs
Quiet as a mouse

Sits a girl
All alone
In a place
That she calls home

Her walls are closing
The lights are gone
The windows dusty
The blinds drawn

The door closed
The bolt locked
She sits alone
A mere lost thought

Spider webs dangle
Off the wall
Close to falling
The spiders gone

The flowers dead
Their petals spread
All across
The table and bed

Alone with her lonesome
All by herself
Up in her room
In a little white house

Comments

[gogopinkranger]

in stanza 5, the rhyme scheme breaks, which sounds a little awkward. also, "lonesome" is not a noun, and it means the same thing as alone, so saying them together is a bit redundant. but otherwise, it sounds pretty good. its a fairly average concept and the language is pretty average, but its a valient effort and it's well written, so i'd give it a 3.

[HERS_FOREVER]

please read my two pieces unknown and these feelings of mine

[animelvr12]

wicked kewl i love

[HERS_FOREVER]

this is genius i feel the same way my room IS my home