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when i first met him.
i was on top of the world
i was the beautiful princess i never was
in that one day
i was happier than ive ever been
in my entire life
we hung out, smiled, and laughed
he looked at me.
beautiful, caring eyes
looking at me.
and nobody else.
but i couldnt let myself be happy,
because then id be sad again
i told myself.
and then, i cried. dewlling on the past.
i told him how i felt about myself
words of low self esteem
pouring out of my heart
trough my mouth
in words id already written in blood.
he looked at me with worried eyes.
told me i was wrong about everything i just said about myself.
embracing me in his warm arms.
he gave me his number.
asked me to call.
warm eyes peading,
but my mind diddnt seem to belive his eyes
guys arnt that nice.
not to me.
never to me.
i got home
i stared at the phone in my hands
i couldnt call,
because this wasnt real.
i would just cry again.
he wouldnt want to hear my voice
hed want someone prettier.
someone happier
someone
else
this couldnt be real.
so i waited
all weekend
all week
and i fought a war in my own mind
did he really care?
did he seriously really care?
wake up. wake up.
i constantly whispered.
i was never asleep.
but i told myself i was
because i couldnt let myself be happy
and i diddnt know why.
so i tried to let out my low self esteem,
low self esteem pouring out of my soul.
in blood
two months later.
i had conviced myself he'd forgotten about me
i had convinced myself he wouldnt remeber me
i convinced myself he diddnt care
i diddnt remeber ever being happy
i just wanted to embrace the feeling.
dimly knowing whatever it was...
...it was good.
i thought of him every night i went to sleep
i doubted everything, but what i was really doubting, was myself
one day, we accidently met.
i was a beautiful princess once again
but he wouldnt recognize me.
there probably wasnt even the smallest speck
of a figment of me drifting in his memory
i said
as he looked right intop his eyes
suddenly warm because guess what.
he was looking in mine.
then the questions came back
did he really care?
maybe
i smiled slightly,
as he saw me smile.
he grinned.
maybe he felt like a beautiful princess too
ok, more like a handsome knight
or prince charming.
then, just as i thought maybe not
somthing happened that told me i was wrong.
that i was more than what i though i was.
that i was much more than i told him i was. two months ago.
on that beautiful day.
he ran torwards me, lifted me and spun me in a circle.
holding me as if whenever he let go i might run away again
i just blushed and stood there as he let me to my feet
so much emotion was inside me.
and he probably diddnt even know
thank you i quetly told him
smiling softly he tilted his head slightly
"for what"
for remebering me.
then he looked just a little angry
i never forgot!
why diddnt you call?
i missed you so much!
i realized.
even if this was just a dream.
i neeeded it.
and it was the greatest dream id ever had.
- Title: low self esteem
- Artist: Emberann
- Description: i started writing this as a sort of rant of the way i think. hope u like it, and if not dont kill me with evil comments D: please? i need an honest opinion not taunting. thank you for reading :]
- Date: 01/23/2009
- Tags: lifted dropped
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Comments (3 Comments)
- koigirl - 06/08/2010
- it's cute, your realy good with the enphases on the emotion
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