Slowly Down the Winter Path

• Artist: Namaste Neko-chan
• Description: This poem is about a winter when I was in second grade and about some things people could wish when it is winter
• Date: 01/27/2009
• Tags: slowly down winter path

As I walk right down the path my world turns around
I feel a shiver down my back and then its gone for days on end
When will it come to me I want to feel the winter world that is soon to come
As if it decides to pull away all it does is run
The winter falls as if to float up high above my head
I want it to come to me so I can go along free
If I leave it all alone then will it never come?
Can I go to my home and bundle up in hope and joy
For now that is what I dream, to fly up in the clouds
To see winter here again and never it be to loud
For what I want it can not bring nor can you or me
I need the hope that it will come so I can frolic and be free

Comments

[LynSayzWTF]

Well i think it's awsome... wink

[Namaste Neko-chan]

Well for this one I wasn't as great with my poem, but I can write good poems don't just judge me by this one I have a poem that one an award but write now I can't find it.
Oh, and I wasn't trying to make it rhyme because it is the way I wanted it. Also it doesn't make sense to you because you you didn't write it and experiance it like I did well some of it I feel, some of it I just kind of thought of that made sense to me, thats why it doesn't go together all t

[Fcukthepolice]

Why do only some stanzas rhyme and others not? It's confusing, and the metaphors are weak. Try to be more evocative and paint a picture with your words instead of attempting to be discretely profound.