Thought on Love

• Artist: Aytramis Rose
• Description: This is something that I just wrote because one i couldn't sleep and two I was bored if it bad I don't really care just wanted to know peoples thoughts on it I know already I'm not good at poetry but like I said I was bored and this gave me something to do...I guess
• Date: 01/31/2009
• Tags: thought love

To some love is a joyful delight

To others not always a great sight

To some love a great bond

To others they see to suffer a pond

Why does love seem great to ones mind

And to others they just can’t seem to find

Or find that loves too much to go threw the pain

Of there broken heart to them that can’t be regain

So dose love has its own objective

On who’s happiness is aloud to live

Or is it just base on chance of fate

Where to some eyes there fate seem to be too late

So do you feel love has given you great joy

Or is it just playing you like a toy

Just playing with your heart

Till one day it becomes fix what was once broken apart

Comments

[Kaito_7420]

Sounds pretty good. I like the structure and the flow. It would be a good idea to change "regain" to "regained". When you get more experienced with poetry, you'll understand that rhymes don't always have to be exactly the same. Imperfect rhymes can be "close enough" so that they sound good and flow better. Also, the typos with "through" and "their" kinda irk me. I would rate this a 4.5, but with those minor issues, I rate it a 4. Good writing.

[Aphelion Silver Dragon]

i know i've given up on love i'm sick of having my heart broken.. v.v