Unrequited love

• Artist: Chibi Kawaii Usagi Aijou
• Description: I wouldn't really call it a poem, but it isn't a story, either. it's like a diary entry. i put this in my diary first. If you don't like it, or you do, please rate or comment. i don't care what i get. either a 1 or a 5 is fine, i don't care much for score. I just wanted to get this online somehow, and thought that this was a good way.
• Date: 02/14/2009
• Tags: unrequitedlove envy heartbreak love sadness

Love is truly cruel, yet is one of the kindest things in this world.
It's eating at the inside of my soul, slowly breaking it.
When I see him I have the strangest feeling of relief, but have even more strain on my heart later.
He's not mine, at the moment he's someone else's. I see them together often.
I'm never mad at her, though. No, I hate her, but it isn't hate. It's envy.
When see them together, I often get mixed feelings.
Sadness, anger, envy, and happiness are only a few of the things I feel.
I see him 6 out of 7 days of the week, and the one day I don't see him is hell.
I often cry myself to sleep about this. When I don't, I'm unable to sleep because I'm thinking about him.
My friend likes him too, but that's only because he's attractive.
With me it's more. Much more.
He used to acknowledge me, somewhat. but even since my friend began stalking him, no longer.
I often find myself randomly writing his initials in print and cursive, usually in class.
My boy crazy friend doesn't even do that. I'm really that pathetic?
I don't find myself in the least bit attractive, though all my friends say I am.
They also say I'm to good for him, but it's not that way.
No, I'm not good enough for him or anyone else.
I have a few good features, my lips, nose, hair, eyes maybe. But compared to her, I'm hideous.
I get the strangest sense of worry when I don't see him.
I worry that he's ill, or even worse, hurt.
Then I see him, and I feel relief and pressure leaves my body.
He's a year older than me, he's 13, i'm 12.
Next year he'll be at high school, I'll still be at junior high, and hopefully I'll forget about him.
I probably won't.
When he walks by me, my asthma acts up and I can't breath.
Do I hate my life? No, anything but that.
I savor his presence, and thank God daily that I can be with him for even that much.
I have an unrequited love, I'm sure, but as long as I can be near him, I don't care if it's unrequited or not. He's alive, happy, and close to me. That's all that matters.
There's very little chance he likes me, but there's one small spark of hope that helps me get out of bed everyday.
I'm 99.9% sure he doesn't like me, but it's the 0.1% that get's me through the day. smile