Your Upset?

• Artist: 290DarkStars
• Description: I guss I wrote this out of shere anger in an arguement.
  Im not self rightious or anything,
  but I hate it when someone tries to pin something on me that I diddnt do.
• Date: 02/22/2009
• Tags: your upset

You yell at me,
you act as if I led you to a vet.
You act as if I betrayed you,
because your cold and wet.

I'm the one that should be mad,
so don't expect an apology yet!
You all think that I have a problem,
and you are right I bet.

But it takes two to tango,
and you're the one in debt!
And seeing society as it is,
I'm the one that should fret.

Don't think that your life will be saved,
by that book that you get!
'Cuz I got one right here,
and in trouble mine wont jet!

Stop complaining about being covered in blood,
when the blood is mine that you let.
And to be completely honest,
you had problems since the day we met.

Yes I'm complaining,
But after being caught in a net!
After all it did come,
when I thought that my life was set!

So keep on yelling at me,
like some disobedient pet!
Because if you got a problem, yell it,
'cuz the world's sleepin' and that's why I'm upset.

Comments

[Daddy Got This Account]

wow... this poem reminds me of, well, me. my friend always tries to blame it on me... and i keep thinking to myself, why do i let her..? why do i let her do this to me..? i really feel the anger, sadness, and just sheer emotion in this poem. i love it. 10000/5

[290DarkStars]

ok, ok. I get it. There was ONE thing that I left out on my side note last time: THIS POEM IS CRAP THAT I WROTE IN LIKE 3 SECONDS! judge oh so less as if i think that this piece of crap will amount to anything mrgreen besides i have a lot of GREAT stuff in my gallery if you would look

[KayleyV2]

The poem doesn't flow well. You try so hard to rhyme that you use ideas that don't fit with your overall purpose (the "you yell at me, you act as if I led you to a vet" was really disruptive, which is especially harrowing since it's the first line). I like how you attempt to use a lot of figurative language - it makes the piece unique - but you should work on your application of that type of technique. Make sure everything fits well. The best paragraph is the third from the bottom.

[Buttercup Veela]

i agree with mellymelz08 completely!

[xxmellymelz09xx]

O_O omg wow i love it! i told u ur betta than me! its pretty deep 5/5