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you know
I hate
it when
Somebody looks
at the bad
parts of town
and think they're
better cuz they
know what it is
needed to make this
place better, yet They
wait till Someone else
fixes everything up for them
- Title: open verse poetry
- Artist: ABluejay
- Description: Good luck brave blue jay! may actual critics destroy my works
- Date: 03/16/2009
- Tags: open verse poetry
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Comments (5 Comments)
- ArisaYukio - 12/12/2013
- ^-^ wow, you state true facts!
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- 290DarkStars - 03/31/2009
- I wouldn't say destroy. I would say that you REALLY missed for this one. The rythem and moral was good, but you absalutly murderd your work with the lack of rhymes and stanzas! Please do better next time.... I guss i can spare you a 4/5.
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- HI MY NAMES ROLANDA - 03/17/2009
- s**t too true! You got a point.
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- supergirl10895 - 03/16/2009
- It's a good poem so far but try typing out all of your words with grammar. Like you "cuz". It might look better if you really used "cause". Otherwise, it's very nice.
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- xXmiiwrldXx - 03/16/2009
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i like it, i think it could use some work, but i really think you have great ideas.
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