• Today’s a day for green and joy
    For all the little girls and boys
    To dance and laugh in all their sport
    And through the Irish moors, cavort.

    For on this day we celebrate
    That long deceased Patrick, Saint,
    Who drove away the pagan snakes
    Into the cold, Atlantic waves.

    We thank him for this noble feat,
    For we are sure to dumb to meet
    The challenge of an open mind.
    Our brains would surely, then, unwind.

    And so we shout, Hooray St. Pat!
    For ridding us of all that
    Foul magic-making druid stuff.
    We’re much more fond of this white fluff

    That seems abundant in this book
    We call the word of God. Just look
    About you stupid mass of sheep
    At all our Bible’s brought to thee.

    The Eastern sands are stained with red,
    The seas are thick with pagan dead.
    The mountains stink of Buddhist rot
    Was all that Jesus did for naught?