Hopeless

• Artist: I Am Not A Ginger
• Description: These I came up with totally by myself, basing them on my emotions and life. The only other person who had any input was my sister, who just gave me some small tips on the wording and such.
• Date: 04/05/2009
• Tags: depression cutting despair

Sing or blackness, sing of night
Sing of evil's terrible plight
Sing of torture, sing of hell
Fell the hate within you swell

Sing of envy, sing of greed
Sing of the the hatred from a sinner's creed
See your darkness, coursing from within
Watch the rage inside you sin

Sing of cutting, sing of pain
See the drops of crimson rain
Sing of fury, sing of despair
Let your scream echo in the air

Comments

[Zurg Brute]

really good job when it comes to the subject. The topic is, however, a little dark. Brightening the mood would help alot.
My suggestion is make it almost like a diamond poem in the sense that half way through, the subject completely reverses itself. In this case, you would talk of the good in life. But besides that its not too shabby. I caant write it as good as you but compared to what ive seen you can greatly improve your skill.

[-cuppy-cake-lover-]

I love it, it makes me feel alot of emotion. 5 Good job.

[I Am Not A Ginger]

can somebody comment? i dont even care if its critisicm, but can anyone just give me any kinda review or something?