One last breath

• Artist: -cuppy-cake-lover-
• Description: I wrote this when i was really depressed I have more..
• Date: 04/09/2009
• Tags:

With my one last breath
I whisper your name
wishing to be with you
but knowing your with someone else

As you walk in the door
you see my blood
I smile as the last thing I see is you
We both shed tears

Knowing this is goodbye
you fall to the ground and hold on to me
I whisper one last thing
"I-I l-love yo...."
I die in your arms
you take my blade
we die together....
~♥~

Comments

[HHH4ever96]

deep- but like renata said, the ending kinda broke the flow.
check out my song, titled shut up- 5/5! biggrin

[Renata Of the Volturi]

Hmmmm its flows well but the end isnt the best Maybe you could say "You take my slowly take my blade and pierce your skin..We fade away in silence together......" Or something like that but if you do use my idea give me credit please! Thnks 5/5

[clumsy-story of my life]

I personally think that it's really good. try reading some of mine sometime!!

[-cuppy-cake-lover-]

Please tell me your honest opionion, even if it's criticism...