You Try To Tear Me Down

• Artist: PoeticWindstorm
• Description: ummmmmm....i actually came up with this one randomly....i wasn't sad, angry, or depressed at all surprising, huh? lol :) pls rate n comment! :)
• Date: 06/01/2009
• Tags: tear down

You try to tear me down
To throw me around
To keep me from making a sound
But yet i scream
To make myself heard
And yet the will of others
Is more than my own
And no matter how strong
Yet still ur will to kill me is wrong
And i die a terrible death
But in body not in mind
Some day u will die
And i will shove u under
"Down to Hell u shall go
'Cause Heaven is not for u; O NO!!!!" sad

Comments

[t0P N0tCH]

Good 5/5 (:

[PoeticWindstorm]

ok smile i see ur point...i reread and i understand that it could b very annoying...especially if u critique poetry...and im sorry u think it sucks but its fine biggrin we all have our differences in opinion

[b00_2]

The change of rhyme scheme is annoying.
You start off with abab.
But then you change it.
Changing rhyme schemes only sounds good when the new rhyme scheme is in a different stanza.
And no poem is good if it doesn't have correct grammar.
2/5

[Xxhells bloodxX]

cool
i hope u like writing cuz ur gewd