A Poem About You

• Artist: metamorphize
• Description: Random poem about keeping love forever. Spacing isn't exactly as intended, but you get the picture.
• Date: 07/09/2009
• Tags: poem about

I'll put you in a paper cage.







Will you be devoured by pretty words?
Will your teeth gnash against bars of ink?








What will they feed on
When

You’re

Gone?

Comments

[FilipStiq]

I did not see this as being about love. I CAN see it, but it was reminding me alot of, like, how we write about other people, and when they die all that's left for the coming generations are the words written about our actions. That doesn't make any sense, but this IS poetry we're talking about, here...hahaha!
Anyway, I love it. The only thing I could think of is your vocab, but even that's good, it's just now what I would've used.

[miss angelite]

Hm. Considering that this poem is about love, and that it's difficult to express about keeping love forever in a few words/sentences, IMO I feel that you should add more lines. I like this, honestly, but I didn't "feel it" too much. I absolutely love what you did with the last line though, with the big space in between when, you're, and gone.

[emogrl25]

srry i hate being harsh... wat ur missing is a bit more detail and suffering, and a touch of discrpiption on the love ur feeling 4 the other person