With You

• Artist: LilShill
• Description: A short poem I created, it is about a girl and a guy trapped in the blistering cold on a drak, devil's night. The girl is the one talking.
• Date: 07/17/2009
• Tags: lovepoem

Hold me tight,
sing me a song.
I am at a fright,
this is not wear I belong.
It's a cold, dark night.
It feels just plain wrong.
I hear nothing at all,
which scares me much.
Not one crow call.
I am thankful for your touch.
My lips are cracked and bleeding,
and yours are nearly blue.
My heart is fastly beating,
I think I love you.

Comments

[Nui Kyrisa]

Very nice. The imagery is dim yet the characters could be seen so clearly...

[Lola_Bunny8696]

awww thats so cute

[ColorblndKelidescope]

That was really nice poem better than alot of the ones iv read on here

[StarWarsFlavoredPop-Tarts]

maybe you can lyricist for colors in crayon box!!!!!!pie!!!!!!!!!!!rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RainbowRebel_x]

I think this poem realy deserves 5/5!
it is quite interesting and i think it is good how you have just put at the end 'I think i love you.' because that's her character.

[Missy_J1]

I think this poem is really sweet and kinda true on how first true love works. You have a really cool and lovely poem that i really like and i think it really deserves 5 stars!

- Missy_J

[Colieman5]

Interesting. needs a bit of rhythm work, an easy fix if you changse the phrasing a bit. and a good premise, though you may want to add more depth or detail. I disliked the way she blatantly told him that she loved him. nothing coy about her ehy? but hey.. if thats her character.. good, but work on it.