• I wait for a day without pain,
    Without the tears that constantly restrain;
    My happiness, my smiles, my hope,
    The things I used to do to cope,
    With the tears that run for hours,
    That crash like the falling twin-towers,
    That make my smile vanish beyond the unknown,
    That sends my skin cold and leaving me alone.
    If I could explain everything, I would.
    If I could make you understand, I should.
    If I could let you see why I am the way I am,
    But I can't.
    And that's good.
    It's good to leave you painless and happy,
    It's good to make believe and be sappy,
    It's good to fake a smile and pretend,
    It's good to let you think I'm fine, and there is no end.
    I'm sorry for all the times I would cry,
    Yet you would never know why,
    That I would have to constantly lie,
    But besides,
    It kept us moving along.
    It will, until the pain is too strong.
    Until I can't sing a song.

    It hurts.
    It really does.
    It's not fair.
    Why was I struck with all this horrid luck?
    What the ******** have I done to grant my life will suck?
    If I have a purpose, what is it?
    To die?
    How will I find a way?
    How much will I have to persway,
    To get one day of happiness
    One hour of no tears,
    Just one minute without my fears,
    Without my nightmares of slicing my skin, once again.
    Without my nightmares of overdosing on these,
    Medical-inclined, crazy pills,
    That trap my soul so I will sit still,
    That make me blind to what I have become,
    A nobody, a failure with a gun,
    Bring it to my head,
    Point blank, pull the trigger.
    Let's see who the coward is now.
    Maybe this will make my ******** mother proud.
    Maybe this will show everyone I have courage!
    With the blood splattered on the wall,
    With me still standing tall,
    No, I won't be allowed a break.
    Maybe then God will give me an answer,
    Maybe then I'll know why.
    Yeah. Maybe then I'll know why.