Love and Despair

• Artist: Hanatori Wolf Queen
• Description: My first poem that I've ever wrote. Enjoy.
• Date: 08/10/2009
• Tags: love despair

We all live our lives in love and despair, we are drawn to it, and it is all we have to live for. What is Love? Is it when two people care for each other, or is it the desire we crave? Who knows. What is despair? Is it the hopelessness we feel inside, or is it to lose heart? Who knows.
Love and despair is always with us; we cannot change that, it will always bring hope and guilt to us. We crave love and fear despair, we try to find love, and we try to avoid despair. But we cannot, it will never be found or avoided.

Comments

[bassmaster_awesome]

You'll end up with a much more creative, expressive and distinguished piece. Just make sure when you write a piece of poetry it is filled with reall emotions to pass on to the reader, and more importantly EnJoY what you are writting, if you read it and go; "it could be better" then why should your public readers think any different. Just take what I've siad in small dose's and emphasize on the emotion and enjoyment. Thank You for listening to my constuctive Criticism. biggrin

[bassmaster_awesome]

This poem has alot more heart and emotion put into it than your third poem, I've still to read the other, but this is an improvement. wink Your termonoligy is repetative and lacks variety. If this piece was two lines longer or you wanted to stretch it on, using this same writting style, it would make it extremly bland. There are many aspect to look at when writting a poem but if you take time care and focus a spacif emotion or (if you can) a rainbow of emotions into your writting and let it flow-

[NeoBurley]

seems understandable this "poem" i would have to say you could use alot of words like despair in this writng try it with misery or fate or hate and well it makes since them, mauh keep up the good work -Neo

[JayStar101]

This is deep...pretty cool! Sounds like something I would write. Great minds think alike! biggrin