Untitled

• Artist: Lolita_Chappy-san
• Description: Just a spur of the moment poem.
• Date: 08/22/2009
• Tags: untitled

I know why God gave me these obstacles in my life: to make me a stronger person.
I just wish that I knew why He trusted me so much.
There's only so much one girl can take,
Life,
Family,
Friends,
Love,
But I can't imagine how all this could be hard.

I don't know where my life will lead,
But I sense something around me,
And I hope that my sense is good.

For these scars on my arms tell a story differant from the girl you see,
Differant from the girl who is having a war,
A war with Life,
A war with Love,
A war with herself.
And I don't know how much longer I can take.

So until I can overcome this forest of darkness,
This forest of myself.
I shall walk through it; tripping and stumbling along the way.
And if I fall one day and look what will I see?

Will I see the light shine throught the top of the trees where I will know hope is still alive?
Or will I still see black nothingness?
Oh, if only I could know for sure.
O, si solo puedie saber para verdar.

Comments

[Lolita_Chappy-san]

Thanks for the comment.....
....but this is a poem.For me the whole point to poetry is to let the reader image it themselves.I do what you tell me to do then its going to sound more like a story.Not like how i want it to sound.Besides -points to description- its a SPUR OF THE MOMENT poem.Meaning that when I wrote it, and i just got on Gaia and wrote it out on the form thingy, i wasnt even copyin git down from anywhere.Its just what came to mind.

[ProfessorKC]

NEED IMAGERY!!

Nice for three stanzas and then it falls flat as the person in the poem ... expound upon this forest you walk through. How the roots of the tre of life trip, the thistles of love sting and burn or the sharp smell of laboring seat of herself struggling smells acrid in your nostrils ...

See? Good images and just a few at that can add SOOOOO much to a poem.