• Sitting here alone in this darkened room

    Waiting for that small, electric thing to make that sound

    The sound I selected just for you

    Waiting to hear your soft voice

    To be comforted by your ramblings about nothing

    To be soothed by the nonsense of your mind

    I rush to the jingling sound from this dark abyss

    I want to hear you voice...

    Oh. I see. Fine.

    Tears stream down my face, pooling in pudlles at my feet.

    I trug back to the dark hole which seems to be a little deeper than when I left.

    My fears all escape at once and the memories wash over me in a tidal wave

    I scream my frustration and yell to the gods.

    Why me of all people? Why do I have to feel this pain?

    Why do I have to be the one to cry?

    That voice which once calmed my nerves is now nothing but a source of pain.

    The screams become higher and higher and so does the gun

    Lifted from the floor and to my head.

    A permanent solution to a temporary problem is what they say.

    Temporary the scars will not be.

    Temporary the pain will not be whenever I see his face.

    My head hurts as if the bullet has already entered.

    Coward enough to throw the gun out the window.

    Coward enough to scream to the top of my lungs

    Coward enough to ask god to help me deal with this pain

    Coward enough to sleep for wanting to sleep for eternity

    I hate it all, I hate this life, I hate this world, I hate the men and women in it.

    But most of all I hate myself for not being "enough".