• For the last couple of days, i've been hearing some weird noises. These noises aren't just any noises, these noises are coming from the walls. Now, I was going to call an exterminator thinking it was rats, but could rats sing? I've heard low mumbled talking, singing, and even farting. So one day I can't stand it anymore. I pull out this huge power drill and drill a fist sized hole into my wall. I then look inside and to my surprise in the hole in my wall, someone is looking right back at me.
    "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" someone yells.
    I retort with the same thing. The person begins to explain how it's their house. It's dark, so while he's going off on this rant, I pick up my drill and pop 6 or 7 more holes. To my surprise it's a little elf like man. He squinted from the light while complaining, "IT'S TOO BRIGHT IN HERE!"
    I asked, "Why are you living in my walls?
    He begins talling me of how he used to be a garden Gnome who wanted to win American Idol, but he lost and now he hides, ashamed, in my walls.
    No wonder I heard bad singing.
    So he goes on to explain all the faulty insulation, bad pipes, and how he has survived for the past 5 years. Apparently he eats well, I wondered my my sandwiches went. He said he sneaks out when I am not looking and takes what he feels like eating. In his spare time he practices for his next try at American Idol.