Unnamed

• Artist: The_Dark_Valor
• Description: just some of my poetry hope you like it, I will be posting more soon.
  
  sorry it doesn't rhyme most of mine do...
  
  please leave feedback I like criticisms and compliments give reasons for them though (the criticisms) I like knowing what you don't like about it
• Date: 10/15/2009
• Tags: unnamed

I'm stuck inside this tunnel
I can only move on forward
this pain is getting stronger
as I feel myself turning under
I bury myself in the past
cause I am sickened by my future
this loss of my self control is hopeless
this light i see is slowly fading
traveling far from here
these thought inside my head at night
takes me soemwhere clearer
I'm on the verge of light and dark
and theres no grey between
I feel myself losing faith
with nowhere left to steer

Comments

[The_Dark_Valor]

thank you

[vv7722]

You asked me to point out some of your typos... 1. You forgot to capatalize a few I's, and you said "these thought inside my head at night," Perhaps I'm mistaken, but "thought" should be plural or it's grammatically incorrect... And you spelled "somewhere" wrong and forgot an apostrophe in "there's" in the thirteenth line. Just correct those, and it might look better.

[vv7722]

Hi.. I like the concept.. But you have some typos, first off I would suggest fixing those... And maybe change up the rhythym a bit? Good poem though! ^^