Secret Feelings

• Artist: Sulimon
• Description: THIS IS A DRAFT. IF YOU WANT TO GIVE ME LOW, TELL ME HOW TO IMPROVE. i love poetry, and i want to be as good as i can be in it, so constructive criticism helps.
• Date: 03/29/2010
• Tags: secret feelings love

hidden feelings,
locked with keys,
of broken hearts and memories.
my love for you is buried deep,
and forever it I'll have to keep-
until one day i tell you.

Comments

[Echo Ligeia]

I really enjoyed your poem. The metaphor of a locked heart is perhaps a little cliche, but you extended it with the "keys of broken hearts and memories" concept, and it worked for me. If you want to improve your poem, you can add to it, or you can use sensual (not provocative, but using the senses XD) imagery to really let the reader experience this metaphor of yours.